Types Of Customers At A Liquor Store, As Told By Spongebob Squarepants

Working at a liquor store, you definitely see a lot of interesting people. Here are 16 of the most common people at a liquor store, as told by Spongebob Squarepants.

1. The Regulars

The regulars always come on a consistent schedule. You see them walk through the door, and you already have their order ready by the time they get up to the counter. They are reliable and easy customers because they know how the system works, and they are usually customers with whom you would strike up a conversation.

2. The Alcoholics

Of course, some of the regulars are also alcoholics. The alcoholics usually frequent the store three times a day, purchasing small quantities. They always pay with a shaking hand, and some even start drinking the alcohol in the parking lot.

3. The Unhygienic

Oh boy. We do not know what that smell is, and we do not want to know. But why does it smell like rotting fish and why is your money wet?

4. The Ones That Never Have Enough Money

Declining cards. Cards that only have enough money for half of the purchase. Followed by rummaging through their wallets looking for cash. And then the awkward moment when they realize they don't have enough money and have to purchase less alcohol.

5. The Cash Elite

And then you get the people that buy $3000 worth of products and pay for it all in cash. I don't know what job you have, but count me in.

6. The Underage

No, that mustache does not make you look of age. I will take that fake ID, and please come back in three years.

7. The Indecisive

Come on. I know we have a lot of options, but there is a long line behind you, and you need to make a decision.

8. The Ones That Don't Know How To Use The Card Machine

I know the chip reader is a relatively new thing, but it really is not that difficult. And we have signs all over the counter with instructions. Just put the card in, click the button, and take it out. Voila.

9. The Cranky Elderly

You try to smile and be pleasant, but they always find something to be angry about. The bottle is too dusty. I want bags, not a box, for my 30 wine bottles.

10. The Sweet Elderly

They are the complete opposite from the previous customer, always smiling and talking in the sweetest voice. Sometimes they will even bring in candy or cookies for the cashiers. You got to love them.

11. The Ones That Bring Their Dog

Definitely a fan-favorite. Everyone loves a good doggo.

12. The Ones That Come Squad Deep

Chances are the customers that come squad deep are also in the underage category. There is always the one person that stands in front all confidently, with his card and ID ready, but when you ask to see everyone else's ID, they stare at you blankly and say "I'm not buying anything though." Or one person will come up to the front, and everyone will quickly try to sneak out. I'm sorry, but we know you are all together, and we can not sell you alcohol unless everyone in your party is of age.

13. The Ones On Their Phones

There are just no words for these people. But the best part is when you try to ask them questions about their transaction, such as if they want a box or bags and how are they paying, and they apologize to the person on the other end of the phone.

14. The Ones Who Take Boxes

Almost every day, there is at least one customer that asks if they can take a box. Of course it's fine, but all of a sudden they have a cart filled with 10 boxes, and then they make 3 trips back into the store. I just want to know what you are doing with all those boxes. Are you building a box fort?

15. The Ones Who Refuse To Take Their Receipt

If you do not want a receipt, that is fine. But if you are given one and you don't want it, just throw it out. Some people will go through their money or their bags and pull out the receipt and leave it on the counter. Or you will try to hand them the receipt with their money and they will quickly pull their hand back causing everything to fall on the counter and the ground.

16. The Procrastinators

And finally, the procrastinators. Under state law, we have to close by 10. We are not allowed to sell alcohol after 10 at night. Yet, you still get the people that come right when the store is closing, looking through the windows and knocking on the door. We are closed; please come back tomorrow.