When it comes to relationships, I have never really been able to do casual. I can't casually date someone because if I'm being really honest, there's nothing casual about me. I do everything with my full heart and mind.
That means when I get into a relationship, my plan isn't that it might work out. It's that I hope that it will work out and I can spend my life with that person. I mean, sure, I'm a hopeless romantic, but I don't want to put all of my energy into a relationship that's doomed from the start.
It seems to me that when it comes time to make a relationship "official," that's when it stops working out. And I think that's because guys who aren't ready for that level of commitment, the level that means the end goal is eternity, run.
I'm glad they run. I wouldn't want to start off a relationship with someone who doesn't see a future with me in the same way I see a future with them. I want someone who wants to have that sort of future with me.
When it comes to guys my age, it seems as if most of them are nowhere near ready to make a commitment like that of marriage. It's a scary thing to think about when you're young, even if you decide to take that leap anyway. It makes it harder when it comes to finding someone who is ready for that part of their life, especially when they begin to feel like they are trapped.
But part of what can be great about being in a relationship is going through life with someone next to you. Every new experience you get to share with that special person and you discover life and parts of yourself with them.
One day, I'll find the man who is ready to settle down, who doesn't see me as some sort of trap. I won't feel like I'm too much to handle, and no more will I feel like I can't find someone who wants to take that place in my life.
I'm the girl that will put all of her heart and soul into every ounce of what it means to be a partner, who puts everyone else first, who passionately and curiously looks at life.
I'm the girl who has picked out names for her future children, who imagines her dream car that can hold all of those children, who thinks about what family vacations will look like.
I'm the girl who has Pinterest boards for her future wedding, who has blueprints she saves for a home she dreams of one day, who thinks about what retirement will look like when my grandchildren visit.
Maybe it's because I'm a dreamer, a hopeless romantic. Someone who is ready to experience life by my side will accept me and all of my dreams.
I'm the girl you can settle down with, who you can take home to your parents, who you can see yourself spending life with. That doesn't mean you should give up on me because I'm also the girl you'll regret losing.