When you think about what a college freshman’s worst nightmare is, after failing out, comes transferring. Transferring seems scary and disappointing: Transfer = Failure. We are embarrassed by the possibility of having made the wrong decision; we are embarrassed that our entire family and friends rallied behind our decision (including the large investment of college apparel that we proudly wore as second-semester seniors), and we are embarrassed that everyone else just loves where they chose to go.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with transferring. In fact, more than a one-third of college students do it at some point in their college career. While most people (or, at least, two-thirds of them, anyway) experience the well known and anticipated “transition stage,” and they come out of the other side loving their school, that doesn’t happen for everyone. We are expected to have gotten it right the first time.
I like to think I have a unique understanding of this situation. My experience starts before and during the college process when I was the definition of a transfer snob. I just couldn’t possibly understand how someone could have possibly made the mistake of going to the wrong college. You take tours for a reason, and, honestly, at the end of the day aren’t they all the same? I toured plenty of schools and got into some of the schools I applied to. Then, caught up in a whirlwind of excitement, committed to Indiana University to be a member of the Kelley School of Business Class of 2019.
Fast forward to August 17. My boxes were shipped, and my mom and I are getting on a plane to Indianapolis. The reality hadn’t set in yet but, trust me, it was about to. I soon (some think a little too soon) became the person who was questioning their decision, accepting their mistake, and taking the necessary steps to put myself on the right track. Everyone knew I was miserable at Indiana, but there seemed to be nothing I could do about it. I was going to have to stick it out for the semester (at least) and suffer in silence. This was the response I got from anyone I spoke to about leaving, because they couldn’t fathom the idea of leaving so soon. And, truthfully, as unhappy as I was, I couldn’t either. Me transfer? I was not the girl that transferred; I was the girl that judged the person transferring. How could I possibly be transferring when I basically stood at the top of Mt. Everest and shouted that I was going to Indiana? I was going to the eighth best business school in the country. How could I give that up?
The feedback I experienced was completely overwhelming. Everyone had a comment, and the majority of them ranged from “everyone has adjustment issues” to “I went through the same thing, just give it time.” To be completely honest, I didn’t care what anyone else had to say; I knew that the best decision I could make for myself would be to leave. So what did I do? I got to work. I packed myself up, pulled the hundreds of pictures off the wall that my mom and I had spent hours perfectly arranging, shipped my boxes home, and got on a flight back home on Sept. 4.
My experience has taught me a lot: Transferring doesn’t mean you’re a failure, it means you’re courageous. It’s knowing yourself better than anyone else possibly could, and acting on that knowledge. The thing that we neglect to acknowledge is that in life, the only thing we can ask of ourselves is that we make the best decision we possibly can at that time, with the information that we have. That doesn’t always mean that that decision is the right one.
People make mistakes; it’s an integral part of life and helps us grow as people. The issue comes when we fail to recognize those mistakes in order to make the necessary changes in the future. There will never be anything wrong with doing what you need to do for you. You are the only person who truly knows what is right for you; therefore, it is your responsibility to accept if the decision you made wasn’t. In the end owning your decisions, both the good and the bad will be the thing that prepares you to handle whatever lies ahead in life -- no matter what college is on your diploma.
