When I was a senior in high school and the time rolled around for me to pick a college, I spent copious amounts of time pondering the decision. Will I like the school? Will I make friends? Will it be hard academically? These are all questions I wondered while making my final decisions but when it came down to it, I felt Winthrop University was the school for me. On move-in day, I was beyond excited to be an Eagle and to begin this new milestone in my life. However, by the time second semester rolled around, the original glamor of my school had worn off and I found that I was constantly unhappy. After much thought, I found that the source of my unhappiness was the fact that I didn’t like my school. I felt like a fish out of water and I felt like I was missing out on the college experience because I was in a place that made me miserable. Thus hatched the plan to transfer schools and after resubmitting myself to the grueling application process I was accepted to the College of Charleston. A whole new school, where I would have to adjust all over again. Could I do it? What would happen if I was unhappy again? As a Charleston native, would I feel too close to home? Transferring was difficult, scary and all around anxiety-provoking however, it was also the best decision I could have made for myself. Here’s what I learned along the way.

1. Parents can be friends.

Going to college in the same town that I grew up in and with the campus being located only a ten-minute drive from my parents, was never something I wanted, the complete opposite actually. I wanted distance, independence and when I made the decision to transfer to the College of Charleston, I was worried I would lose that independence I had become so acquainted with after spending a year away. However, being close to my parents has only proven to strengthen my relationship with them and it is super convenient when I’m fighting the broke-college-kid financial battle, which seems ever so constant. Bi-weekly grocery trips, opportunities for cuddles with my cats, occasional home cooked meals, free laundry and the ability to spend time with my parents as much or as little as I want has been such a blessing. My mom and I were never really close in high school, but since I’ve moved closer we frequently get dinner together. Since being able to spend quality time together, we’ve gotten so much closer and found that we really enjoy each other’s company. I am so thankful to be able to do this because we all know college brings about times when we just need our mamas and mine is just a phone call and ten-minute drive away.

2. School spirit is everything.

I always found it strange when I would talk to a college graduate about their alma mater and they knew everything there was to know about their school. I thought it was weird that someone could be obsessed enough with their college to carry on a twenty-minute conversation about the history of the oldest building on the campus or some other inconspicuous fact. However, since my arrival at College of Charleston, I must confess, I’m obsessed. I’ve lived in Charleston my entire life and yet, I’ve learned more about my city in the past eight months than I have in my twenty years here. Understanding the history on my campus, exploring the beauty within the heart of Charleston and living the city life on the daily has made me re-fall completely in love with Charleston and blossomed an unexpected passion for my school.

3. Grades can improve.

Transferring schools has significantly improved my grades for a multitude of reasons. Most importantly, after building a love for The College, I find that I am more willing to dedicate time to my studies because I actually enjoy my classes and my school. My grades suffered at Winthrop because I was just so miserable I had no motivation to go to class or study for my classes which made it hard to get good grades. I didn’t want to participate in building a degree from a school I hated. Since transferring, I have found a passion for what I am learning and a motivation to spend time studying simply for the end goal of receiving a degree from the school I love so much.

4. Balance is key.

When I was at Winthrop, another great contributor to my sucky grades, was my poor time management abilities. Paired with my lack of motivation and miserable daily attitude, I found solace in the college party scene. I placed my priorities in socializing and turning up rather than on my school work. Upon arriving at College of Charleston, where the academics proved to be significantly more rigorous, I quickly learned that the only way success would be to find balance. I learned that for me, scheduling was a major key. I needed to plan, plan, plan ahead and after I planned I was able to start falling into a routine. The consistency allowed me to spend an adequate time on my studies but since I was never rushing to finish assignments or being surprised by tests, I found that I actually had free time. So I began saving the partying for when it was appropriate and only after all necessary work was complete, saving me so much stress and improving my overall happiness.

5. Jobs can be fun and money is cool.

At Winthrop, I was always so stressed trying to remedy the effects of my procrastination that I definitely didn’t have time for a job and the lack of employment opportunities within walking distance from campus didn’t help either. So, my financial situation was more often than not a bleak one. My newfound ability to time manage in combination with the multitude of job opportunities close to campus in Charleston gave way to me working. Finding a job that I really like, works with my schedule and gets me a paycheck has been flipping awesome. I greatly appreciate that I enjoy going to work and even though it does partly contribute to the busyness of my schedule, having a little extra spending money in college opens a whole new world of adventures.

6. Comfort zones are meant to be broken.

I’ve always been a pretty shy person. I suffer from social anxiety and live in constant criticism of myself and my actions. At Winthrop, my lack of desire to do much of anything, which stemmed from my chronic unhappiness, kept me trapped in the cage of timidity that had so long held me captive. A few weeks into being a student at The College, and I had busted right through the steel bars of my well-known comfort zone. I became ridiculously more outgoing and because I received such a positive response from people, I got way more comfortable just being myself.

7. Making friends is easy when you’re comfortable being you.

The more I branched out and allowed my personality to show, the more people started gravitating toward me. I found that I had more and more people surrounding me every day and eventually, I had certain people that I enjoyed dedicating the majority of my time to. I found myself a group of friends that was more diverse, more fun and more accepting than any I had ever been a part of and I attribute this completely to my gained confidence, my willingness to put myself out there and to try new things, including to meet new people. I would never have acquired these abilities, that allowed me to create these relationships filled with countless moments of laughter, love and adventure, had I not made the decision to transfer. Shout out to the squad, much love.

8. Confidence lies in self-acceptance.

Like I said, I’ve always been pretty shy and I know that it stems from a lack of self-confidence. When I transferred schools, so many things changed for the better in my life that my love for myself absolutely exploded. My ability to time manage allowed me to get to dedicate time to the gym which resulted in lost weight and a gained positive body image. I was looking good, feeling good, I had made friends and I adjusted to my academics. Observing my overwhelming success in transferring schools and surprised my newfound happiness I blossomed into a self-assured, positive person. I learned to love the person I was becoming and I the person I was developing into, I found, always inside me, I just needed to let her out, to break the restrictions I placed on her because I thought she wasn’t good enough. What a relief to finally be happy to be who you are.

9. Boys are boys.

Prior to my transfer, I didn’t have very much activity in the area of the male species. I’m sure that my negative attitude and lack of confidence during my freshman year sent a clear message to the fellas to run for the hills however, there was nothing I wanted more than to be admired by the opposite sex. However, since gaining some self-confidence and learning to be true to myself, I have had the ultimate epiphany that boys are just boys. A woman’s worth should lie within her own appreciation for her unique capabilities rather than in whether or not some frat boy thinks she’s hot. Since coming to this holy realization, I have noticed quite a bit more action on the guy front. Boys like girls that have their shenanigans together and, oh Lord, is it a relief to no longer obsess over the trivialities associated with the dreaded boy-craziness. I attribute the onset of this realization to my transfer, simply in the fact that the boy-to-girl ratio is much better at The College than my previous school, but my development into a confident adult has also been a major contributor, I know what I want now and won’t accept less. Bam, watch out boys.

10. I have a path and a purpose.

The single biggest blessing I have received since my transfer has been my ability to figure out where I am going in life. For so long, I felt like I was wandering aimlessly, going through the motions, just to reach a goal I didn’t even know how to find. Transferring taught me how to look within myself to figure out what gives me, as an individual, a purpose. I dedicated myself to a major that would allow me to receive a degree in a subject that I’m not only interested in, but passionate about. This gave way to a plan, life goals and aspirations, a path to follow. I was finally able to put to rest the popular fear of many college students of the inevitable post-graduation adulthood that seems to approach much too quickly. Though time I still consistently flying by, I feel that I will be prepared when the time comes to go off into the real world and I am sure that I won’t be trapped in a career that doesn’t bring me joy daily. Another significant relief, because it has always been my goal to live by the saying, “If you love what you do, you’ll never work a day in your life.” That is certainly the goal.

Transferring colleges, through a grueling and difficult process, was so utterly worth it in the end. The incredible overall improvement of my quality of life is astounding. I have completely blossomed into the person I have always wanted to be and that is because I faced challenges and overcome them. I experienced things I would have never experienced had I not chosen to change schools. It’s not the conventional route, most people choose the right school the first time, but you know what? Who needs convention when you can have adventure? So if anyone out there is thinking about transferring because they’re unhappy with their first-choice school, go for it. Who knows what doors of opportunity will open for you?