I will be the first to admit it – I am a regular reader of Total Sorority Move (TSM). I follow it on Instagram, like it on Facebook, and the pink app, embellished with a small white sailboat, is nestled in the “social” folder on my phone. If I ever find myself wide awake after I’ve finished my nightly routine of scrolling through social media and reading Buzzfeed for hours, I will navigate to TSM and chuckle quietly thinking, “That’s me!” as I quickly forward the link to my sisters. However, the other night while partaking in this evening ritual, I had a grand realization. TSM is not what sororities are about at all.

It was around 1 a.m. and I had just clicked on an article, “There Are Only Five Types of Butts – Which One Do You Have?” Now, I am a little embarrassed to admit that this is what I found myself reading, but sometimes you have to indulge yourself in a little bit of simple-minded media, especially during the pre-finals rush. At first, this article simply confused me, primarily because I still cannot identify what type of butt I have. However, as the otherwise fun and simple article drew to a close, I became, in a way, offended. The author concluded her article by writing:

“No matter what shape your butt is, take comfort in knowing that you can change it with a few extra sets of squats at the gym. And if that doesn’t work, maybe take a little trip up to New York to visit Dr. Shulman.”

I was honestly shocked that this is how the article ended. Apparently I was shocked enough to copy the link and paste it into a note with the caption “TSM is not representative,” before passing out, only to be reminded of my discovery the next morning. I expected the article to end with a sweet sentiment. Something along the lines of, “No matter what shape your butt is, you’re beautiful,” or, “Flaunt what you got!” I certainly was not anticipating that I would be advised to immediately rush to the gym to do squats or go across the country to receive plastic surgery. I recognize that this was most likely meant in good humor, but articles like this are what continue to perpetuate the female obsession with appearance and the negative connotation of sororities.

After my stunning revelation I decided to peruse other TSM articles to see if this was true elsewhere. And, sadly, it was. Over the last year, two of the ten top articles were about weight, three were about boys, and the other four were about miscellaneous subjects. However, one thing lacking from each of these articles is an empowering message. Surely there are plenty of articles on TSM about friendship and love, which send a positive message and embody what it means to be in a sorority. And I certainly recognize that TSM is not meant to be a hard-hitting news source. However, when I read the majority of the articles on TSM, I do not see my sorority represented. Perhaps this is because I am in a local sorority at a small school. Or maybe I’m just boring. Regardless, I do not consider the things being discussed on TSM a total sorority move.

To me, a total sorority move can be defined in countless ways that have nothing to do with parties, sex, or appearances.

It is demonstrated by the fact that 15 of the 20 girls in my pledge class have studied abroad, bringing the lessons they’ve learned from their adventures back to Trinity and teaching us all to be more worldly citizens. It is shown in my sorority’s diversity. There are members from across the U.S. and the world, and collectively we speak upwards of ten languages, in a club of only 80 women.

It is demonstrated by the fact that we have a member studying almost every major offered at Trinity, from Russian to Music to Engineering. And despite our diverse areas of study and the difficult courses we are enrolled in, we still manage to have one of the highest GPAs on campus each semester.

It is demonstrated by the fact that we raise over $4,000 per year for our philanthropy. Each member of our club commits at least ten hours to community service, but collectively we often get more than 1,000 hours per semester

It is demonstrated in community involvement. Many of our members have internships and jobs all around San Antonio and are involved in extra-curricular activities both at school and off-campus. They are actively engaged in events happening all around the city (it’s Fiesta season, y’all!) and are always excited to get involved in our community.

More than anything, though, I define a total sorority move as the love we have for one another. Being in a sorority is about being an active and engaged member of a community. It is about carrying yourself with grace and remembering that you represent the organization. It is about creating deep and lasting relationships with your sisters; when you ask, “How are you?” you genuinely care about their answer. A total sorority move is not having the hottest body or the best reputation with the fraternities. It is not celebrating who can drink the most and make the worst choices. It is not defined by the crazy nights out or the morning after when your friends tell you about the hot guy they hooked up with. TSM trivializes what it means to be in a sorority.

Let’s begin writing articles about the Sundays spent in the library, with everyone rocking a messy bun and a t-shirt plastered with your letters. Let’s talk about the Friday afternoons when you’re too tired to go out, so you and your sister cuddle in bed and pick out furniture for your house. Let’s remember how when that boy broke your heart, your sisters were the ones that were there for you. Let’s celebrate how four of the six bridesmaids in my Grandbig’s wedding were in my sorority, truly proving how the friendships you make in your sorority are meaningful and lasting. Let’s celebrate the love that is cultivated and cherished among the members of you sorority.

I am proud to be in a sorority, but it is not because of the things that TSM glorifies. I am honored to be surrounded by strong leaders who are thoughtful and kind. I am fortunate to have diverse friends who have taught me to be accepting and open-minded. I am thankful to have friends who will put everything aside to prove how much they care. We need to remember that being a member of a sorority is about empowering women by building deep and lasting relationships that honor the values of our club. TSM should begin to reflect the diverse and multi-dimensional qualities that define a sorority member, because these characteristics are what truly embody a “total sorority move.”