When I applied to attend Brigham Young University, I felt fairly prepared for the change that was to come. The academics, the religious outlook, and even the harsh winters that my Arizona home knew nothing about. There was, however, one thing at BYU that I was most certainly NOT prepared for dating.
When it comes to the dating game, I often feel like my instruction manual accidentally got placed in a Monopoly box, so coming to BYU was a bit nerve-racking. From the day I applied, friends and family alike had their own reactions, but most of them settled around the idea of "marriage." That's right. I was going from single-high-schooler to married-college-kid, all within my first year of attending this school. Needless to say, I was terrified.
And yet, a small part of me was actually excited. Not only was I starting this new chapter of my life, but I might actually meet someone. Sure, I was scared, but I was up to the challenge. So, in June of 2016, just a month after I graduated from high school, I packed up my bags and headed north. My new life was waiting for me, and I was ready for the adventure.
Or so I thought.
You see, I thought I would be going on dates left and right, meeting handsome strangers and goofy geeks (you know, the good kind). Little did I know, most of my dates would actually end up being with my textbooks. The "dating scene" so many had told me about was completely non-existent! I was confused and even a bit shocked, especially as I watched my roommate and her friends go on countless dates each week. Was there something wrong with me? None of the guys seemed interested in asking me out, even at the school known for getting people a "ring before spring." Even today, five months into my time at BYU, I have yet to be asked out by a guy (I was set up on a blind date about a month ago, but that's a story for a different time). I felt hurt, left out, and a bit unwanted. But, I knew I wanted to serve a mission for my church, so I let that be my focus, ignoring the hurt I felt.
Until one day when I was talking to a coworker of mine about this very problem. I told her about my inability to find a guy I was attracted to, and how no one during my entire first two semesters at BYU had asked me out. Then, she looked over at me and said something I don't think I'll ever forget: "when you come to BYU, you really do find what you're looking for. If you're not looking to date, you won't."
And she couldn't have been more right. I wasn't looking to date while at BYU because I knew I wanted to serve a mission. My roommate, on the other hand, was looking to date, so she did. The stigma that BYU is a school built for dating just isn't true. Sure, if you want to go on a lot of dates, you can and probably will. But if you're waiting for better timing, you won't be "forced" into the dating scene like I so feared. You can take your time, focus on school, and when you're ready, you can join the others. But for now, I'm content in watching Netflix and studying alone every Friday night. I knew I wasn't ready for dating, and now I can find true happiness in other things.
So let my story be a sign that BYU is not "just a marriage school." It also has incredible professors who are willing to help you achieve your dreams, fantastic peer mentors who can guide you in your transition to college life and thoroughly fantastic wifi connection for binge-watching your favorite TV shows. It's a school I love, and I wouldn't trade my experience for all the dates in the world. And that, my dear readers, is the truth.
