It’s a flawless selfie on Instagram, with perfect lighting on those brilliantly high cheekbones. Next is a magazine advertisement, featuring beautiful people at a beautiful location in barely-there attire. Then, it is Oprah Winfrey discussing best bodies, Weight Watchers and New Year's resolutions on a commercial. Last, it is you, staring at your reflection in the mirror, pinching at your skin wondering why you don’t look like those beautiful people that flood your social, written, and televised media. You think, “For once can my hair curl naturally and fall into place?” or “Maybe if I just lose those five pounds?” We point out our flaws that we wish to erase because then we will be beautiful by society's standards.
The truth is, we all do it. We stare wildly at our reflections and over-examine every picture we take to find these flaws. We critique each inch of our skin to an extreme, judging ourselves the hardest out of anyone. Let’s be honest. When was the last time you looked at your reflection and thought, “Damn, I look good,” rather than second-guess every aspect of your beauty?
Why is it so hard for us to practice self-love? It's defined as "a love of self and regard for one’s own happiness or advantage," so what makes such a seemingly simple concept so complex and difficult? Why is it nearly impossible for us to be kind to ourselves rather than harsh and abusive?
We all put on a front and pretend that we emotionally love ourselves. We boast that everything is in moderation and discuss how the media places an obscene amount of pressures on us to aspire to look like the actresses and models that flood every screen and outlet available.
I am as guilty of it as the next person, but what if we all tried to love ourselves a little more each day? What if instead of the "year of best bodies" it was the year of the best love for our bodies? If we become more conscious of the issue and recognize its symptoms a little earlier, we can better address the critical nature of our minds and train them to appreciate our bodies for what they are. But how do we do that?
We need to ensure that we have the right people in our lives, because we will love ourselves more when the people around us love us. We need to live intentionally, with purpose, and be mindful of our thoughts and actions. We need to forgive ourselves. We are human and we will make mistakes, whether it is a cheat day on a diet or an error in a relationship. We must accept each mistake as a learning opportunity. Most important, we must be appreciative of who we are and the lives that have been given to us. We need to practice good self-care and nourish our bodies, minds, and spirits to allow us to be our best, healthiest, and happiest selves.
With a little bit of these each day, we can make this year the year that we say “screw you” to harsh and critical thoughts. We can be happier with ourselves, and therefore happier with those around us. We need to have courage and be kinder to ourselves and others because by loving ourselves a little more, we can spread a greater amount of love in the world.
Like Justin Bieber sings, "you should go and love yourself."
