Dating someone with a mental illness is not always an easy path.
There is no certain method or formula to follow when your significant other deals with depressive episodes or haunting suicidal thoughts. Nothing prepares you for trying to navigate the complexity of mental illness. As an outsider, I've never dealt with mental illness much myself, of course, I've been sad or felt alone but never to the severity of others. I know many people in my life who have and are currently struggling with mental illness, but dating someone with a mental illness is much different.
My girlfriend suffers from depression and has for quite a few years now.
Every day is a possible new struggle for her. Some days are good or even great and other's not so much. Depression, like other mental illnesses, is something that won't go away, it will always affect her life in some way. Often times I find myself struggling on how to deal with the mood swings and the haunting thoughts. I try to not let it consume my entirety, but that becomes a struggle when the person you care about and love is in a dark place.
It's so easy for someone to forget about themselves and fall into the role of a constant hotline for their significant other.
Not saying you can't be there for your partner because that is a crucial part of helping someone with a mental illness. By allowing it to consume you, it puts you at a disadvantage. Remember that unless you're a licensed psychologist there is no way to truly give your partner everything they need to battle the illness. It's sometimes a hard realization you have to come to, that there is only so much you can do for that person. Though there are some limitations to helping your significant other there is also a lot that you're capable of doing.
One of the biggest things that I personally find to be helpful is to ask what they need for those hard days. Asking allows them to feel like they're being heard and provides that respect in a relationship. If they prefer to be alone on those days, make sure to not take it personally but give support and let them know you're there for them. If you sense they may become a danger to themselves always reach out to someone who can help such as a hotline or family doctor. Allowing them to not be bombarded by texts and calls from you all day asking how they are, can, in fact, help them deal with it in their own way. Another thing that can be helpful is distracting your significant other.
Taking them from a walk, going out to eat, or even just taking a drive can be helpful. It can distract them and they might be able to even enjoy themselves, it's something that can get there mind off of it for a little. The most important thing is to be there for them — if they need to hug you for hours and cry, if they need space, if they need you to watch Disney movies with them, if they want to sit in silence and listen to music, do that for them. Support them in every way possible and make sure they know how loved and important they are. It's not always the easiest path, but know that your significant other is going through something tough as well.
Lean on each other, and learn what works best for both of you. At the end of the day, I'd go through 500 dark days with my girlfriend, just to see a bright one.
