I already have my partner but, when we talked about this in class it only confirmed that my boyfriend is my person, the one for me.

My professor asked us what we look for in a partner and honestly, I haven't truly really thought about it. So, I pushed my current relationship to the side and really thought about it. I said I wanted someone honest, has a future ahead of them, tall (but that isn't very hard because of how short I am), loyal, sense of humor, and helps me grow.

Then I thought about my boyfriend and thought about whether he fit all of these "requirements" and he very much does.

My professor asked:

1. What kind of parent do you want for your child(ren)?
2. How do you want your daughter to be treated by her spouse?
3. What's their self-image/attitude like?
4. Do they respect/ have love for themselves, you, and others?
5. Do they have good communication/conflict resolutions abilities?

These questions really made me think about my relationships. Does he "pass" all of these questions so, I started to answer them.

1. I want my spouse to know when it's the right time to comfort my child vs. punish my child. I want them to be loving and show compassion. When I think of my boyfriend now, he shows me love and compassion everyday as much as he can over the phone and in person he explodes with love and compassion.
2. I would absolutely be okay with my daughter dating someone like my boyfriend. He is constantly checking up on me and making sure that I am okay, and everything is going well in my life. Even when things are tough for him his main concern is for me. Most of the time he puts my well-being above all else and I would absolutely love for my child to be with someone like my boyfriend.
3. My boyfriend typically has a positive attitude and tries to look at the bright side of everything. He is confident in who he is as a person.
4. He without a doubt respects himself, definitely me and the people around him.
5. At first, he didn't have very good communication and conflict resolution abilities. BUT this class has helped turn all of that around. Now he was good and effective communication skills.

I know I am with the person I am supposed to get married to and these questions has helped me confirm all of this.

Now let's talk about trust.

Trust is a huge thing to me and in my opinion, it has to be earned not just given. But my professor showed a video that said something interesting that opened my eyes. "The biggest issue in trust is not trusting yourself, if you can't count on yourself then you can't ask people to be accountable". That stuck with me and made me think. Do I trust myself? The answer is yes, I do. I love myself for who I am and there's nothing that could change my opinion about myself. The next question is can I trust my partner? Again, the answer is yes, I can. He has never done anything to make me think otherwise. Despite my past I choose to trust him, and it has helped our relationship tremendously.

The last thing I wanted to talk about is the Triangular Theory of Love.

The three corners are:

• Passion – physical attraction
• Intimacy – sense you can trust them
• Decision/commitment - "I choose" to love you

This was the last step in testing my relationship and making sure my boyfriend is the right one for me.

In my opinion I believe we have the whole triangle: passion, intimacy, and decision/commitment. Without a doubt the physical attractions are there. The intimacy is also there because we both truly trust each other fully. I know I can trust him which, was difficult for me since we are long distance but, he has more than showed me that I can trust him. We both have the decision/commitment aspect of the triangle. "We choose" to love each other and have fully committed to each other and only each other. Since, we have all three it means he have a consummate love.

We talk about our future almost everyday and how excited we are to start out life together after college. I've never been so sure about a relationship before and this class has truly pushed me closer to him.