You and your boyfriend have been spending a lot more time together recently, and you've started picking up on some strange traits and habits of his. You brush them off at first because everyone has their quirks, but the closer you get, the more you wonder if he hasn't told you something very important.
1. He has a strange obsession with flies
GiphyYou love to eat brunch--or really any meal--outside when the weather is good enough. Unfortunately, every time you go outside for a meal with your boyfriend, he can't stop watching the flies that buzz in infuriating circles around your food. You get it: flies are pesky, but it's become impossible to dine outdoors without him losing focus. Instead, to avoid the flies, you're forced to eat at lavish, dimly lit restaurants alongside older couples who take themselves a little too seriously. Will eating with him ever be fun or affordable again?
2. He climbs walls like he's got sticky fingers
GiphyRock climbing isn't exactly your passion, but from time to time, it's fun to head to the climbing wall and then unwind with a beer at the brewery next door. However, since you've started dating your boyfriend, you've been frequenting the rock wall nearly three times a week. Your forearms are burning and you're sick of binding your feet in climbing shoes, but your boyfriend can't seem to get enough. Every time you climb, people stop what they're doing to watch him scale the walls with skills like Alex Honnold. Fortunately for you, he's too busy stuck to the ceiling to notice that you've disappeared to the brewery.
3. He has dry, rough skin
You love going on Pinterest and finding "new skincare recipes." Avocado, egg, and honey work wonders on your face, and you want to try them out on your boyfriend's scaly skin. Every few days, you exfoliate him and apply a face mask. However, no matter which recipes or formulas you use, his skin remains rough and dry. You can't figure out why nothing is working. Eventually, you give up trying to make his skin baby soft and accept his calloused exterior, reminding yourself that he's soft on the inside.
4. He only sleeps during the day
You love sleeping and aren't opposed to taking daytime naps in addition to a full night's sleep. But, your boyfriend is exceeding even your generous sleep schedule. He naps all day leaving only the night time for you to hang out unless your dates involve a diurnal snooze. You don't mind at first, because you love to sleep, but you start becoming nocturnal and know something has to give. Will you ever see the light of day again?
5. He has a nub in the place where a tail should be
Yup...
6. His mom is a lizard
You go over to his parents' house for dinner and his mom is a lizard. The only explanation is that your boyfriend is indeed a lizard person.
Your boyfriend definitely is a lizard person which is something that will make your relationship a little weird. You're okay with it though because at least he's not a Republican.
