To be completely honest, being a "sorority girl" isn't all about hot pink ribbons and glitter, and to be even more honest, I hate the term "sorority girl" because I consider myself to be a sorority "woman." The standards that my organization holds me to are much more sophisticated than those standards to which a young girl could understand or even live up to. Something I hate even more than the term "sorority girl" is the stereotype that comes with it - I utter the word "sorority" and I'm automatically pegged by those who are unfamiliar with Greek life as a partier, a ditz and a daddy's-girl. To help clarify some of these misconceptions, here are just a few true confessions coming firsthand from this "sorority girl":
1. I'm not held to an impossible standard.
Many people believe that sorority women are confined and expected to live up to a certain standard of model-esque beauty that is nearly unattainable. No, I am not a tall, blonde, size zero bombshell, but I am supported 100% by my sisters. We are a diverse group of women from several different backgrounds, and we are damn proud of that. I am most comfortable with them on Monday nights when I show up to chapter after class in no make-up, sweats and most likely a slice of pizza in my hand. That's not to say I don't like dressing up and taking an innumerable amount of pictures with them on the weekends or at formals, but I am most thankful for the days when I can kick it in my comfy clothes, au-naturale and not feel judged.
2. I pay for my own dues.
While I am fortunate enough to have parents who help me out when my bank account runs thin, I work to pay my own dues. In addition to classes, I go to work and make money so that I can pay my dues, buy my groceries, and order that super cute dress online for formal. I was raised to work for what I want and have learned a lot from my both my mom and dad, who are self-made, hardworking people. So, no, I do not live off of mommy and daddy's money.
3. It isn't just about the social life.
I am a firm believer that philanthropy and sisterhood should be put before any kind of social engagements within the sorority. Something that my sisters and I all have in common is that we have all been affected by something in one way or another that drew us to our philanthropy. We all share the common goal to raise money for this cause, provide education and combat it in any way we can. We share a passion that binds us together and this is what truly makes us sister - not going out together every Friday night. The nights I will remember the most with my sisters are the nights spent at our philanthropy events, eating Wendy's at 2 a.m. during recruitment, and the countless Greek Week practices when we drove each other all crazy for a solid two weeks.
4. Grades are important.
Not only are good grades something that my family and I value, but my sorority values them as well. In fact, we have a strict GPA standard that each member is held to, in addition to an academic chair on our Executive Council, whose sole responsibility is to make sure each sister is holding up our academic requirements. If anyone does find themselves slipping academically, we all support each other with things like mandatory study hours or tutoring. I find myself running into my sisters most often in the library or studying in some other building on campus. My sorority empowers me as a smart, skilled leader and I personally feel that my grades would not be where they are now without the support of my chapter.
5. We don't hate other sororities, fraternities, or non-Greeks.
Another misconception I constantly feel that I am faced with as a sorority woman is the idea that I hate every other sorority, fraternity or dislike those people who are not involved in Greek life. To set the record straight, that is completely untrue. It is not a competition between on-campus sororities and the dislike for fraternities comes completely from the media. Greek life is a family, and I can confidently say that I have close friends in nearly every single Greek organization at my university. In addition, my best friend from home chose not be involved in Greek life - which is totally OK! She is involved in a ton of other things and most importantly, she lifts me up as a friend and has always been there for me. Letters or not, I will always consider her a sister of mine.
6. There is zero tolerance for hazing.
Not only is it a Maryland state law and against university rules, but my sorority also has a zero tolerance policy for hazing. And beyond that, I believe that each one of my sisters has a moral obligation against hazing, too. It is simply unacceptable and I am thankful to be a part of an organization that would never promote or participate in such an awful thing. Unfortunately, there are isolated incidents that occur with other chapters in Greek life across the nation; however, it is disappointing to see that those are covered by the media over all of the many amazing and philanthropic things that Greeks do every single day.
7. Our lives don't revolve around *only* our sorority.
While sorority events, meetings and obligations consume a decent amount of our time, we understand that life consists of more than just our chapter. Family, friends outside of the sorority, grades, internships and jobs are all very important to us, as well as other non-Greek activities. In fact, every member of my chapter is required to be involved in outside organizations and 20% of those members also hold a leadership position within that organization. In order to help balance and manage these priorities, we have a secretary who keeps track of absences and initiatives like professional status , which works closely with those sisters who have a job or internship.
8. Yes - we have rituals, no - we're not a cult.
Greek rituals tie each organization's members together through means of tradition and values. We don't sacrifice any sisters or chant any ancient poems, but we do come together for these secretive practices to remind us what our chapter is about and everything that we stand for.
9. Being "stuck-up" or "bitchy" is not OK.
The media and popular culture often portrays sorority women as the "popular girls" (read: the bitches). My sorority highly values treating everyone equally and being accepting of all people, which hardly sounds bitchy to me. It is no one's goal to be intimidating, rude, or excessively exclusive in any way at any time. What you put into your chapter is what you get out of it, and I can't imagine ever treating a sister in a way that I wouldn't want to be treated. Being kind and gracious toward everyone is one of the most important aspects of my sorority and is part of the reason why I fell in love with my chapter.
