What is love? Is it the all-consuming force that can be resisted but never beaten? Is it the sensation of your heart being put together while simultaneously being blown apart? Could it perhaps just more simply be a tremendous elation at the presence of another person? Whatever you think that love is, and everyone has their own definition, the only thing that can’t be refuted is that it is one of the most powerful forces on Earth, right up there with gravity and magnetism. It is the most famous of all emotions. We live in a society that worships it.

From the dawn of humanity, we have loved. We have all had that one thing in common. There is usually someone on this planet that you would do anything for, that one person that if they said they needed you; you would drop everything to be by their side. It is a beautiful thing, but it is also a terrifying thing. To feel this level of intimacy with another person you run the risk of being unrequited. You run the risk of being hurt. You run the risk of losing who you are in that person’s perfect eyes, again and again.

In my life, those dice have not always been worth rolling. I have had the moments when the thought of allowing myself to become close with another person has brought me nothing but fear and anxiety. In select cases, it has even resulted in emotional self-abuse. That being said no matter how far gone I found myself, the desire to love and be love and be loved in return never left my side. Any of my friends will tell you that romantic desire for love was my defining characteristic for many years. Personal pain and heartache made that harder to see.

Love is not always offered up on a silver platter. Love cannot be single-mindedly waited for. Yet it cannot be blindly pursued either. What has to be understood above anything else is that it is your heart that you are offering. And no matter how strong the feelings you feel are, no person on the face of this Earth intrinsically is owed that heart that you and you alone possess. But living life in that kind of cocoon will get you nowhere. You will never feel alive. You will never feel love. The only thing you will feel is regret.

The most important thing in matters of love is following your heart. Allow your brain to function and try to see the mistakes along the way. But never shy away from big feelings just because you don’t think you can control it, or you’re scared what might happen. The age old question being asked again, “What is love?” I believe that love is the acceptance that pain is real, and existing anyway. I believe that love is a kind of patience that you will get what you need. Perhaps most ultimately, love is understanding between you and the universe.