You've probably heard the song, "She Will be Loved" by Maroon 5. The song has enough depth to make any girl feel its repercussions. "Look for the girl with the broken smile, ask her if she wants to stay awhile." This girl wants attention but will not ask for it. Instead, she settles for easy attention only because she doesn't feel deserving enough for more.
So many of us--especially females--settle for the love, attention and company we think we deserve. We settle for how we've been treated in the past or for how we've seen our parents or siblings be treated. That's the only thing we know; so of course that's all we think we deserve. We haven't seen much of anything else other than what we've seen in movies, and those are usually fairytale-material.
It's like being allergic to peanuts: if you eat a peanut, your throat will swell, and you'll probably be dead in under 10 minutes. If you're allergic to peanuts, then you can't have Chick-fil-A because they cook everything in peanut oil.
Which means you've never tasted Chick-fil-A.
Which means you literally have no idea what you're missing out on.
It's the same with being treated like a fucking princess, or at least, not being treated so terribly. Do not blame your circumstances. The curse can be lifted. Let someone finally treat you the way you should be treated. Get a glimpse of what it's like. It will scare you at first.
It will scare you because you're used to getting the least from a boy and mentally thinking it's the most. That's crazy, and also disgusting. That we would wait around for boys to make decisions that we should be making ourselves, but aren't because we don't want to lose them when they never even cared to lose us.
Sometimes, the simple truth of it all is that we care more because they don't care at all.
Why do we want what we can't have?
There are many factors that come into play, but I believe it's mostly ego. We can't stand being rejected, and when someone tells us no, we can't seem to wrap our heads around it.
"When you're too in love to let it go," is one reason suggested by the song "Fix You" by Coldplay. "If you never try you'll never know just what you're worth."
We do this subconsciously; we think we're worth the way someone else treats us. But this is so incredibly invalid. We grow up with this mindset.
Despite the defects of this mindset, we sometimes do get what we want. But are we happy? Most of the time no, we aren't. We all have a hidden reason inside of us that drives us to do the things we do, over and over again. Lesson after lesson, even after we've learned it. At the most, it's a habit we have formed without knowing it.
Something inside of you scares you. Usually, it's driven by insecurity, but it's also the fact we feel like we don't need another person to define or take care of us. We can do it alone. We can take care of ourselves. Maybe it's the idea of potentially being codependent. That's scary.
Some people say they can't be in a relationship because of their own problems. This is also false. Yes, you can. You can be in a relationship and still have your own problems. This doesn't determine whether or not you're capable of being in one.
The person you choose to be with might determine whether or not you think you can handle your problems while being with them, but that certainly doesn't mean you aren't capable.
A person telling you that you're unworthy of being in a relationship just means they aren't deserving of you and what you have to offer.
Not everyone has your best interest in the end, even if they did at first. Things end, and people change.
The right person will help you grow up and vice versa. It's called support. Not guidelines or ultimatums.
You are worth more than someone who thinks every bad thing about you. One person will see the bad, while another sees an entire universe.
Perspective as fuck. Handle your own.
Get out of your bad habits, and recognize that you're deserving of what you envision your best self to be, right now.
You have so many more experiences to journey through; why get stuck on one? But if you do, that's okay. It just shows you what will happen if you do. Carry on. Keep your spirit moving.
Nobody defines you.
You will be loved. Again and again.
