Once You Realize You Are In A Toxic Relationship, You Need To Get Out, ASAP

Once You Realize You Are In A Toxic Relationship, You Need To Get Out, ASAP

Your happiness and health come first!

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Everyone has been in a toxic relationship, whether that was a friendship or with a significant other. You might not realize it at first. Once you figure out that you are unhappy with this person, there will be many excuses used just to stay with that person. It's important to get out when you can for your own good.

I was in a toxic friendship, but I got out of it and it was the best decision. During my senior year of high school, one of my friends was in a group chat on Discord, and he added me to it. Everything was running smoothly until this one guy texted me privately. He was having some mental health issues, so I offered him my support and tried to help him as much as I could. At this point, I saw myself as a good friend who was just giving him advice and I didn't see that there was anything wrong.

We kept talking and I started to feel annoyed. Whenever he texted me, I would dread texting him back. I brushed it off and didn't think it was a big deal. I knew he needed some help, so I continued to be there for him as much as I could. I knew his mental health was suffering, so I wanted to make sure he was okay.

After several months, it started to affect me a lot. I would get very stressed and anxious about it. I realized that this was never a friendship, to begin with. He used me as someone to dump all of his emotional baggage on. Don't get me wrong, I love helping people. I will drop everything to help someone and I enjoy trying to make people feel better. However, this was taking more of my mental energy than I could handle. After staying in it for way too long, I decided to end it, so I could focus on school and myself.

Ending it didn't go as well as I thought. On Snapchat, the place we were communicating, I sent him a message along the lines that this friendship was one-sided which wasn't healthy and it wasn't helping either of us and then I blocked him. I forgot that he had me on Instagram. He messaged me literally begging me to stay and saying that he was always there for me and it was two-sided the whole time. That was a complete lie and I blocked him on everything.

I'm very glad that I got out of it when I did. I should've left way earlier, but for toxic relationships, you never know until after all of it happened. I felt guilty since he was struggling and I knew I was the person who was getting him through it. That was the main reason I stayed in it. I eventually learned that while I did help him, I needed to make sure I was focusing on my own health. After some time of being with my true friends, I didn't feel guilty. I felt happier and less stressed. For those who are in a toxic relationship now, I hope you will be able to get out of that negativity. I know it's hard, but getting out will be so beneficial to you. I believe in you :).

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An Open Letter To My Boyfriend's Mom

A simple thank you is not enough.
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Your son and I have been dating a while now and I just wanted to thank you for everything.

Wow, where do I start? Ever since the day your son brought me into your home you have shown me nothing but kindness. I have not one negative thought about you and I am truly thankful for that. I first and foremost want to thank you for welcoming me with open arms. There are horror stories of mothers resenting their son's girlfriends and I am blessed there is no resentment or harsh feelings.

Thank you for treating me like one of your children, with so much love but knowing exactly when to tease me.

Thank you for sticking up for me when your son teases me, even though I know it’s all in good fun it's always comforting knowing you have someone by your side.

Thank you for raising a man who respects women and knows how to take responsibility of mistakes and not a boy who is immature and doesn’t take responsibility.

Thank you for always including me in family affairs, I may not be blood family but you do everything you can to make sure I feel like I am.

Thank you for letting me make memories with your family.

There is nothing I value more in this world then memories with friends and family and I am thankful you want and are willing to include me in yours. I have so much to thank you for my thoughts keep running together.

The most important thing I have to thank you for is for trusting me with your son. I know how precious and valuable he is and I won't break his heart. I will do everything I can to make him happy. This means more than you could ever imagine and I promise I will never break your trust.

The second most important thing I must thank you for is for accepting me for who I am. Never have you ever wished I looked like another girl or acted like another girl. You simply love and care for me and that’s all I could ever ask. Every person in this world is a unique different person and understanding that means a lot.

The third most important thing I must thank you is teaching me how to one day in the future treat a potential girlfriend that I may interact with as a mother. I am not a mother, but I one day plan to be. If I ever have a son it is because of how you treated me that I am able to be a humble loving mother to this new face that could one day walk into my door. How you have treated me has taught me how I should one day be in the future and I thank you for that.

This may seem all over the place but that’s how my brain gets when I try and thank you for everything you have done for me. It’s all so much and even the little things are so important so I promise my scattered thoughts are all with good intentions and not meant to bombard you. I just want to get the idea across to you that you are important and special to me and everything you do does not go unnoticed.

Sincerely,

Your Son’s Girlfriend

Cover Image Credit: Christian Images and Quotes

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If You Would Leave Your Significant Other If They Didn’t Have A Dollar To Their Name, It’s Not True Love

Money will get you anything you want, unless it's a fairy tale romance.

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We have all heard about the Jeff and MacKenzie Bezos split. Jeff Bezos's fortune amounts to 140 BILLION dollars. With that money, he could have bought absolutely anything in the world that he wanted. I mean, what would you choose to buy with that wealth? However, in the end, the one thing he couldn't buy was, clearly, a happy marriage.

Let's take a moment to imagine that you jump into the future 50 years. What aspects of your life are you reflecting on?

Are you thinking about the outfits you wore, the status you showed off with your nice car, and all the money you had to spend on things you wanted?

Or are you measuring the quality of your life through the relationships you had with others? Maybe, most significantly, a romantic relationship?

If you've turned on the radio recently, you'll know that it's no secret that one thing almost everyone desires the MOST is true love.

Our society has learned to laugh at that notion, saying that companionate/ realistic love is really the only type of romance people get in real life.

So what do we do? We turn to money. It fills all the emotional voids we have in our unfulfilling lives. Yes, our unfulfilling lives. If you were satisfied with every aspect of your life, there would be no need for spending money aside from survival essentials.

When you turn your back on the idea of true love because you deem it "unreal" and turn to money, you may as well call yourself Alexander Hamilton because you are setting yourself up for a long life of feeling unsatisfied. Because, the truth is, fairy tale romances do actually exist.

But money will never buy it for you.

In fact, it may distract you and create the illusion of true love. Just because you enjoy the fancy gifts, homes, and trips someone can provide you does not mean you are absolutely, truly, head over heels in love with them.

If you wouldn't be with your partner if they didn't have a dollar to their name, it's not true love.

You can't pay for someone to truly love you, and extravagant gifts will never buy someone's love, just their comfort.

So if you can't buy love, how do you get it?

You've been hearing this since grade school, but getting your priorities straight is a MUST.

Work is important, and earning a salary is necessary. But work and money should never be what is most important in life, and you should never prioritize money above a significant other.

Finding the person you are meant to be with takes time, and maintaining the love between the two of you is no simple task.

Always put your significant other ahead of any desire of yours. Their needs should always come first, and for them, your needs will always come first.

It's the little things that keep people madly in love, not something money can buy.

The conversations you have with each other from the heart, the extra burden you put on yourself one day to allow your significant other to sleep in, or the meal you prepare for them so they have one less thing to worry about. The little, everyday things remind your S/O that they mean the world to you. Not the amount of money they're willing to spend for you.

So next time you're counting up your money to see if you have enough to afford the next new fun thing you want, consider how worthless it actually is to the quality of your life.

Love will bring your life value. Money will you bring you materials.

Don't settle for someone you're comfortable with. Find that person you would be with if they didn't have a dime in the world because that person will make you happier than any amount of money or materials ever could.

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