"Released to be KNOWN, set free to see." The theme of Biola Torrey Conference 2016 can be wrapped up in one word: Shame.

As a student who was grievously behind on chapel credit, I'd like to consider myself somewhat of an expert on the Torrey Conference this year, having gotten all but one possible chapel/conference credit given out during the week (after the five required conference credits, any extra counts for chapel credit). I was impressed with Biola for going to the heart of such a convicting subject matter, and it's clear that they care deeply for their students' spiritual health.

The conference started with the main speaker, Dr. Curt Thompson, a neurobiologist psychiatrist, explaining the brain's reaction to negative input. As the day wore on, I became more and more uncomfortable with the completely negative view of shame. Is shame really all that bad?

The brain is able to process shame as early as 15 weeks old. Shame, as defined loosely by Dr. Thompson, would simply be the brain's painful acknowledgment that it has stepped outside of the community's standards. When this happens, the brain throws on the breaks. Our posture turns to one of decreased eye contact, shoulders slide forward, and we hang our heads. Communication to the outside world is limited. Our creativity halts. It certainly feels awful to be confronted with shame.

I walked out of the first session with Dr. Thompson wondering how his idea of shame differed from the empty Disney motto of "believe in yourself." Essentially, I was trying to figure out if there was some way in which total aversion to shame didn't simply lead to feel-good self belief. If shame was to be avoided at all costs, maybe it was a good idea to make ourselves our own God, and convince ourselves that nothing that we could do was wrong.

However, at the next break out session, Dr. Thompson provided important categories that helped frame the idea of shame. Essentially, there's shame, which is very negative, and guilt, which is actually healthy. According to Psychology Today, guilt says “I feel badly about my behavior, and I’d like to fix the situation and behave differently in the future.” Shame says “I am a bad person and there’s nothing I can do about that, so I might as well continue behaving badly.” Shame shuts down the opportunity for forgiveness. Guilt, on the other hand, actively seeks out forgiveness and reconciliation. As Christians, we might say that guilt is the way that the Holy Spirit moves in us, and that shame is the condemning voice of Satan, appropriately known as the accuser. A quick check that a Christian can do in order to distinguish if it's the Holy Spirit would be "Is this voice leading me towards God?" If you feel compelled to seek forgiveness for your wrongdoing, then the answer is yes. If the voice is telling you that you're a terrible person and that God wants nothing to do with you, then it's not the Holy Spirit.

After being given the definition of guilt and how it related to shame, I was much more prepared to accept that shame is in fact evil and needs to be destroyed. After all, in Paradise, Adam and Eve were naked in the garden and unashamed, something Dr. Thompson was quick to point out. The nature of a relationship with God is one that destroys shame. Shame is one of Satan's primary tools to separate us from both God and other humans.

So what can we do? One of the most powerful applications of the conference was the invitation to be open and vulnerable with fellow Christians. As we share our shame, it is undone. The fellow believer is able to act as Christ to us, and declare us forgiven. Vulnerability isn't simply a nice option for Christians –– it's essential to our spiritual health.

Easily, the most powerful part of the conference was the testimonies given by selected adults at the end of the day. Story after story was told of abuse within family, rape, repressed pain, losing cultural identity, and porn addiction. The common theme in each one was the way that the person came back to Christ in the midst of crippling shame was through being painfully vulnerable with other Christians that God had put in their life. Though incredibly difficult, each one testified that the results were infinitely rewarding.

For me, the conference was life changing. I was able to discover long hidden shame in my life and approach a close friend to share it with. In the past couple days, I've experienced wondrously freeing spiritual growth. If you're sitting on shame and unconfessed sin, don't waste another day. Please commit to sharing who you are with somebody close to you. God has promised to meet you in that.