If you are anything like me, you spend a lot of time procrastinating. And I know, I know, this concept is hardly new to anyone; whether it was Neopets or Netflix, the Millennials have been procrastinating since kindergarten. But sometimes the little voice inside your head (that sounds suspiciously like your mom) is just too much to handle, and you have to do something.
But what are you to do? Actually, work on your homework? Surely not! Save that for the 11 p.m. moment of desperation the night before your final paper is actually due. So for that moment when you cannot quite find the motivation to get to writing, but you are feeling too guilty about your workload to do completely nothing, I present my personal stash of ways to do something without actually doing the thing you need to do
1. Clean
This is probably the best way because it genuinely is something you should be doing. Just not right now. Right now you should be writing your paper. But if that is just too repellent, grab some Clorox** wipes and start scrubbing your bathroom mirror. If you blast some music, it can honestly be pretty fun (and very satisfying).
**this article is not sponsored
2. Workout
Certainly not as appealing as a "Friends" binge, but it does make you feel pretty good about yourself. Plus, the longer you take, the healthier you feel and the longer you can procrastinate! Double win! And if you push yourself, the endorphins actually could help you study later -- although I fully endorse faux-exercising with the elliptical on lowest resistance if that’s more your speed (haha, get it?).
3. Shower
Les Miserables. Shower as many times as you can. Just never get out of the shower and come back into the real world. Although if you do make the mistake of getting out, you still don't have to work right away, because honestly, how could anyone expect you to work when you are wearing a towel?
4. Paint Your Nails
This is the perfect solution, because it is a little bit too much work to fully constitute fun. This activity comes with a built-in 45-minute grace period where you cannot do anything because your “nails aren’t dry.” Additional bonuses: the feeling that your life cannot be falling apart completely because look at how put together your hands are!
5. Watch YouTube Videos
You are allowed to take a 10-minute break, you tell yourself clicking on the latest Jenna Marbles video. Five hours later you are watching people reacting to people reacting to a cat and a dog playing hide and go seek. But how can you be held accountable? You were totally allowed to take a 10-minute break.
6. Work
Unfortunately, not this kind...
Not exactly fun, but it definitely feels responsible. I personally sign up for extra shifts during finals week because while picking the lesser of two evils, school work and work, work, I would rather go with the one that makes money. You cannot feel guilty about working and, as a bonus, the period after you will be so tired you will not even have to try hard to resist any intrinsic motivation the American school system has not trained out of you yet.
7. Bake
Go get your "Cupcake Wars" on. It’s fun, it’s delicious, and it’s a refreshing break for your eyes from a TV screen. You can also give the treats out to your friends who were actually working and deserve a reward. It’s a nice goodbye present, whether you’re just going home for the summer (them) or ultimately flunking out (you).
8. Get Dressed Up
Look good, feel good. So what if you have not straightened your hair/worn heels/put on a suit in weeks? Go adhere to some conventional beauty standards and feel amazing about yourself. Try on a million different outfits and paint your face like the Mona Lisa. At least you won’t look like an utter failure, even if you feel like one.
9. Sort Your Phone
There is nothing better than a mom phone call. It might be slightly naggy if you let it slip you have a lot of work to do, but more than anything it will be comforting and wonderful. The universal mom mantra is “Take care of yourself first and I love you.” It will calm you down sufficiently to actually start the darn thing, which is really half the battle. Plus, your mom is the only one actually excited about the minutia of your life.
And a bonus one:
Read a silly article written at 2 a.m. by a person who followed her own advice far too well. Then go get to work; the hardest part is always starting.
