When I moved from LA to attend school in Chicago, I fantasized about taking the train to class. I would wake up every morning, leisurely grab a coffee, walk to the train station, and the train would be there waiting for me, doors wide open. The handsome older businessmen would smile at me with their sleek briefcases in hand and the musicians on their way home from the bars would wink. Maybe I would sit next to a woman who started her own company and ran a fashion blog. She would inspire me and give me tips and I would get a job writing content for her website. Before I knew it, I would be downtown and early for my first 9 a.m. class. Ah, the city life, a picturesque scene dreamt up from watching shows on the CW. What I did not know was that those shows had really romanticized commuting in the city and that fantasy would turn into a morning nightmare.

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Luckily, I have the CTA app which allows me to check the times of incoming trains going south. I scramble out of bed to have my morning routine complete before the train that takes me to my Loop class arrives. This normally means that I skip out on my much-needed cup of coffee. When I finally get to the train platform, the doors open up to a colorful mix of people that are packed together so tightly, they look like a giant blob; one entity. There are no seats left, for majority of the ride, so I struggle to stand as I get jolted back and forth looking for a pole to grab onto, which normally ends up being a pissed off person's hand. I start to freak out thinking about the lack of oxygen on the train and what would happen if I got stuck underground with a bunch of grouchy people trying to get to work or class. Finally, I am off at Jackson, happier than ever, but there is no time to celebrate, I have five minutes to get to class.

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1. Korean Karaoke

My boyfriend and I were venturing downtown to the Harrison stop from Wrigglyville. There were no seats so we were standing next to a man with headphones in. He started to sing under his breath, and I did not take much notice to it, until the dancing happened. He was holding onto the poles in the train and dancing while he sang a song in Korean. My boyfriend, naturally snapchatted him, and when he noticed he was being filmed he started snapping and singing even louder. He beckoned us to join in and we were humming and snapping with him while he danced. The people on the train were very confused and entertained. His one message to us, as he got off at Fullerton was “meet me at Cermak China Town, great food!” I sincerely hope we run into our musical friend the next time we have stop for some Chinese food in Chinatown. (watch actual footage in the link below!) https://www.facebook.com/100009864791353/videos/165958363742989/?pnref=story

2. Drag Queen Singing "Man I Feel Like A Woman"

I had a class that went until 4:45 p.m. last quarter and when I would go downtown to stay at my boyfriend’s after, I was exhausted. I was sitting on the train attempting to read when I heard a song that my mom, sister, and I used to sing: “Man I Feel Like a Woman” by Shania Twain; I looked up to see a drag queen with long legs sexier than mine, a pink skirt, cheetah top, and weave of caramel waves that slid down his back. He had his iPod in and was using the pole to dance. He got low and walked up and down the train like it was a catwalk. When his stop arrived, he said my name is Caramel, bitches, and I am out. By the end of that train ride my exhaustion had turned into hilarity.

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3. Crazy Bulls Fan

Sometime last year there was a Bulls game against the Cavaliers, I could not tell you which one, I did not really care, but my boyfriend sure did. He could not stop talking about LeBron this LeBron that. This was not a problem until we became distracted one night and went too far north on the Red Line. This heavy-set guy in a Bulls jersey with a small basketball stumbled onto the train. He was screaming "go Bulls" and yelling at people. We were on the complete other side of the train and of course we make eye contact, so he walks right on over to us. He tries talking to my boyfriend about the game and my boyfriend politely disagrees. This makes the guy go even more nuts than he was before and he starts to yell at us. He continues to be crazy for three more stops, until two ladies get on the train and then he starts hitting on them. A homeless man looks at my boyfriend and I and says, “there are nothing but crazies out this far north, they send all the crazy ones to mental hospitals here.” We thought that made sense, but the homeless man then stared at me directly in the eyes, even as he got off the train, for the next four stops.

4. Drunk, basic Leprechaun

St. Patrick’s day weekend in Chicago is an especially interesting time to ride the train, the drunk Irish and the drunk non-Irish do not care what time of day it is. They start drinking when their morning alarm goes off. I was busy until 11 a.m., so when I got on the train people were hammered already. There was this one girl at the Fullerton stop who snapped her fingers, as a signal for the doors to open, spread her arms out, and laid across five people siting down. Only three of them were her friends.

She was saying things about how she could see leprechauns dancing and was yelling “where is the rainbow leprechaun where is it?!” Her friends, as any good friends would do, were recording her ludicrous behavior. She fell on the floor and I suggested she probably should head back home. They said she was fine and would rally. I suggested she eat a big cheeseburger when they got off the train and as the doors opened she threw up all over a guy dressed as a leprechaun. She created the rainbow.

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