Vegans already only make up a small percentage of the human population, but I'm going to convince the rest of that percentage that they should never ever go vegan. Going vegan is shown to benefit not only each person, but the animals and environment as well. But who cares about that? Here are the top 10 reasons not to go vegan.

1. You want to keep your cholesterol high.

I mean really, who wants lower cholesterol? That stuff is great for you.

2. You want to have an increased risk of coronary heart disease.

Heart disease? Sign me up. As long as I get my meat.

3. You don't want to save water.

Yeah, water is just one important element we need to survive. And yeah, meat production uses up way too much water, but bacon though.

4. You want an increased risk of cancer.

Cancer runs in my family, but I don't have to worry about it. Because bacon.

5. You don't want to save animals.

Animals? Who cares about them? They were put here for us, duh. Therefore, we can make their entire existence a torturous hell. Oh wait, I'm an animal? Well, yeah, you're right, but humans are the only important animal.

6. Greenhouse gas emissions aren't an important issue.

It's not like these emissions affect every living being on the planet, because we all share the same Earth and ozone.

7. You don't want a decreased risk of type ll diabetes.

Who wants to give up bacon for health? C'mon! Be realistic. Bacon over health any day.

8. You want to continue killing our only planet.

It may be our only planet, but YOLO right?

9. You don't want the future to be sustainable.

I won't be around to see the end anyways. My kids might, though. Who cares about them.

10. Your taste buds are more important than the entire planet.

Amen! Live for the now, not for the future! My preferred taste is way more important than something that affects everything on this Earth.

Note: Obviously this is all sarcasm. Don't get too offended.