My friend,
Your heart is broken, but don't let that break your smile too. Yesterday and today may not have turned out how you planned it, but that does not mean that tomorrow won't be better. Out of no where came the curve ball of the break up. The infamous words "we need to talk" rattled your brain and brought an ache to your stomach that soup can not fix. Those four treacherous words sent your heart leaping out of your chest, splattering all over the floor. You weren't sure what to expect when you finally did talk, you just hoped your heart wouldn't break. At first the idea of ending things with your significant other sounded simple enough. It hadn't yet run you over like a train until today.
Yesterday, your heart momentarily sunk but then leaped with joy at the idea of the new freedoms you had found (not that you weren't free to make your own choices before of course). But now, you are even more free. You have endless possibilities at your finger tips and all you have to worry about is yourself. The idea of doing what you wanted when you wanted to without having to account for someone else sounded glorious at first, but now that you wake up alone you can't help but wonder if you made the right choice.
As your day goes on, your heart slowly starts to break into pieces. The idea of what the other person is doing and how they are feeling at that exact moment consumes your thoughts. Throughout every lecture you attend, you stare blankly at your notebook. Your brain is no where near your body, for it has wandered off in many different directions. Your heart has sent your brain on a mission to endlessly torture your memory of the person. Your heart aches which causes your eyes to cry and your body to shake. You feel helpless, hopeless and utterly lost. Without this other person, you are not quite sure who you are.
But, it will get better.
Today seems as though it is going to be cloudy forever, but it won't be. Right now your heart is broken into pieces, but one day it will heal itself. The idea of you truly being okay again will take time. There will be moments when you don't want to get out of bed in the morning or you can't fall asleep because all you see when you close your eyes is their face. But, one day, you will fall asleep effortlessly and wake up to birds chirping with a sunny day ahead of you.
Don't take your heart so seriously right now. Of course break ups hurt and it is going to hurt for a while, but your heart also has a way of making it hurt more than it should. Sometimes you are more in love with the memories of someone than you are the actual person. Your heart has no way of distinguishing between which it loves more, so it is going to play tricks on your mind to convince you that it yearns for both. You must understand that it is solely up to you to rebuild your heart. You can not rely on another to do that for you. The idea that having the person you miss so much back in your life may sound like a solution to your problem, but it's not. The realization that you are responsible for your happiness in your entirety and that you are alone is going to be what is hardest on you.
Being alone will get easier. And you are not completely alone. You have friends and family who will always be there for you. Turn to your friends, family, pets and to the Lord. He who created you will not leave you. Pray for guidance to make your heart whole again and He will lead you. Share your love with the Lord and declare Him the only man you currently need in your life. Walking with the Lord will help the loneliness to disappear and you will experience love you never felt before. Distract your heart from its incompleteness. Do something that you have never done before or do something that you have been putting off. Allow new experiences and new people to make your heart whole again.
One day you will wake up and your heart will be whole. You won't dwell on the past and the memories will just be distant. You will get to the point where you feel complete again, you just have to believe in yourself. After all, maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is just moving on.
