When people ask me what my favorite part of college has been, I don’t even have to think about it: meeting my boyfriend and finding true love.
It was my freshman year, and I had been crushing on a guy from my math discussion class all semester. On the last day of class, he started talking to me as we left, and we ended up sitting in the Illini Union for six hours after class talking and getting to know each other. The rest was history, and ever since then, I couldn’t imagine my college experience without him by my side.
A rising message in today’s millennial culture is that this is a bad thing. College is supposed to be about trying new things, putting your needs and desires first, making tons of friends, and having a great time as you work hard toward the Great American Dream. It’s not the time for a committed relationship because that detracts from all these great things.
The idea of a woman going to college primarily to meet her future husband has gone out of vogue since our parents’ and grandparents’ generation, and that’s perfectly fine. Women should be able to go to college to work hard and pursue a career in something they love, and our generation has made huge leaps in making this possible for women.
But some of us are still interested in finding love at this point in our lives, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. Too many college women are put down for their choice to be in a committed relationship so young. I have been called “old-fashioned,” told that I should date around before settling for one man, and advised to put my career and my own desires before my relationship.
Maybe this is great advice for some people, but for those of us who want this life, it’s honestly kind of demoralizing.
My boyfriend has encouraged me to challenge myself with my coursework, study hard, and never settle for a career I wouldn’t be fully satisfied in. I’m reaching for my dreams in ways I never would have been bold enough to do without his inspiration and support.
When I’m with him, my life has direction, and not in a weak, dependent way. We push each other to be our best selves, and the sum of us is greater than our individual parts.
Sure, I may have missed out on the “college experience” of going on casual dates and bar hopping with random guys. But I never really wanted that anyway. I’d take dinner and a movie with him over going to a wild frat party any night. This has been the right path for me, and I have no regrets about how I’ve spent my college years.
To those who say that you can’t have both a fulfilling college experience and a committed relationship, I disagree. To those who believe that prioritizing college and career makes a woman superior to those who pursue a romantic relationship, I disagree.
A committed relationship is not for every college student, and I understand that. But for some of us, it’s everything we ever wanted and more, and that is just as respectable a path as today’s modern woman making her dreams come true without a man. The past four years have been the best of my life; I wouldn’t change a thing.
