I just want to say that you hurt me.

You chewed me up and spat me out. You never reassured me. You never showed you cared, and you rarely told me. I gave you every part of me. I held nothing back. I just wanted to say that even though I wish I could despise you, I don't. Somehow, by some miracle, I still think the world of you.

However, I also want to say thank you.

Thank you for showing me just how much of myself I am capable of giving to someone else. I never knew what real, unconditional love was like until I realized I would actually do anything for you. I told you I would change pieces of myself to fit more into what you wanted. Looking back now, I realize I shouldn't have given myself up so easily. I also know now, that in a relationship where there are mutual love and respect, I will be given a whole heart to take care of, instead of just a half.

Thank you for helping me to realize what I deserve. I do deserve someone else's whole heart. I deserve to be treated so well that I think I'm dreaming. What I don't deserve is to be treated like someone who's on the back burner.

I don't deserve to be told that I'm too emotional, or that I'm too sensitive. In a relationship, the point is to be vulnerable. To be open. To show emotions that you weren't ever really sure you had. I understand not everyone looks at emotions the same way, but when the love is real, the emotions flow.

I deserve someone who won't hide behind a mask. Someone who won't change around friends. Someone who isn't afraid to look me in the eyes and tell me they love me. I deserve a love so real and valid that I never question whether or not I'm worth it.

Thank you for helping me realize that I should put my own happiness first. I admit I am a people pleaser. I enjoy when everyone around me is happy, even if I'm not. However, when one of the reasons you broke up with me is because I chose my happiness over yours for once, I knew I wasn't the one who needed to change. It was always you.

Most of all, thank you for breaking my heart. I admit I was completely ruined when you ended things. I really did not know how I was going to get through it, or if I even was going to, for that matter. I saw the future with you, despite all of the things you put me through. I won't bother listing them here because you know the things I am mentioning. You know in your heart I didn't deserve that. No girl does.

I am here now, writing this because I am still trying to understand why you did what you did. I'm getting over it, slowly but surely. Healing is a process. The difference between the girl you broke and the one writing this letter is that this one is stronger. Because of you, she knows what she deserves and knows she shouldn't settle. Because you left, she finally learned how to love herself.