From the moment teenagers graduate high school, they are so excited to go to college. The parties, the freedom away from your parents, the chance to have boys over every night. However people don't tell you the darker side of college, how lonely you can feel, how hard it is to find friends in the world had academics. I'm a senior at a great college, the classes are fantastic, and they have a great support system. However, there is still that darker side that I mentioned above

I want to tell you a story, my story. I started college when I was 18 years old, I was freshly graduated from high school and SUNY Oswego is the only college that had i had gotten into. I was okay with that, it was close to home and I can go home whenever I wanted to it, so it was perfect for me. I had decided to live on campus because I wanted to be away from home I wanted that freedom. As the weeks went on, I realized it was my depression and my anxiety that wasn't allowing me to do anything. In the end I move back home, while my depression got better it also got worse. It got worse in the way that I didn't want to do anything, I didn't want to go to clubs, didn't really want to go to school; but I did because I wanted that degree, I wanted to show that my depression wasn't going to beat me that I was going to be it, however, in a way it did.

When I had thought that I was beating it, I slowly realize that I wasn't. My anxiety kept me from being with people, finding my own path and finding new friends. As i enter my senior year, I realized with the help of a counselor, I need to push myself, I need to do something that makes me uncomfortable for it to become comfortable to. That way I'm writing this, I want people who don't have any friends, or who feel left out, or maybe you feel lonely and nobody wants anything to do with them. I understand that feeling because that's the way I feel right now, but I want you to know that's it's okay to push yourselves.

Living on campus or just plain going to campus isn't for everybody, if you have a chance to live at home, live at home. While it can make your depression and anxiety worse, it can make it so much better. Living at home gives you the chance to go home. Living at home gives you the chance to have a safe spot. Your dorm may never be your safe spot; you have your roommates that you may not get along with or you may hate them. While the situation can be opposite, the whole point is is to find your safe spot. In the total opposite way, college can be the right thing for you.

I'm not trying to ward you away from college or leaving college, I just want you to know the darker side of college. The side were you cry night after night because you don't have anyone to hang out with. The side were you see all these kids with their friends and you feel jealous. People don't just realized how hard going to college with depression and anxiety is.