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To Those That Can't Let Go

Distracting is not grieving.

Skylar Shae Keller

Dec 05, 2016

Birmingham, Alabama

TheWildHoneyPie

To Those That Can't Let Go,

I know it hurts. It hurts to think about letting go of your person. Thinking about your person not being here to answer your phone call, text message, reply to that awful image you tagged them in on Facebook, or just having them around. Grieving is hard, but letting go is hard, too. I, myself, have lost more people in my twentysomething years than some lose in a lifetime - or so I've been told. To date, I have lost two aunts, two grandpas, one grandmother, a mother, and a best friend. All of these, within a ten year span. I know that I'm not the only one who suffers a loss like any of these.

I have had sleepless nights. I have had unspeakable thoughts. I have not grieved. Not one single time. I have found that in the past decade, I do not grieve, I distract. I have not learned to let go, I have learned to seek distractions in all things. Writing, for example, being a distraction. Finding multiple jobs to keep me out of the house: distractions. Going out to bars and having one too many cocktails: distractions. Binge watching Disney movies, Audrey Hepburn movies, or anything else binge-worthy on Netflix: distractions. I have come to realize that everything I do has been distracting me from facing my true fear: letting go.

I have not grieved. I have not truly grieved. I have not truly felt the pain and heartache that came with the loss of my mother. I have not truly felt the heartache that came with the loss of my best friend. More or less, I have closed myself off - disabling myself to feel anything. Rather than feeling the pain and anguish that comes with each loss thrown my way, I shut it out. I flip the switch inside my mentality that tells me to let go and I sit there and try to imagine what the "new normal" will be like. And every time I sit there in wonder, I am swallowed whole by a pit of emotions that cannot be summed up into one word. I go completely numb.

My wish for not just me, but for you - the one that is also struggling - is to be able to feel again. The ability to not be numb anymore. I want to feel the pain, because if I feel the pain, I will be able to grieve. And when I'm able to grieve, I'll be able to let go.

Until then, just remember that it is okay to cry. It is okay to hurt. And it is okay to let go.

Best of luck,

The Girl That Can't Let Go

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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To Those That Can't Let Go

Distracting is not grieving.

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The Best Lines from the Fab Four

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make

The sun is up, the sky is blue, it's beautiful and so are you

Love is old, love is new, love is all, love is you

There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be

Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend

He say, "I know you, you know me", One thing I can tell you is you got to be free

Oh please, say to me, You'll let me be your man. And please say to me, You'll let me hold your hand

It was twenty years ago today, Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play. They've been going in and out of style, but they're guaranteed to raise a smile

Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see

Can you hear me? When it rains and shine, it's just a state of mind

Little darling, it's been long cold lonely winter. Little darling, it feels like years since it' s been here. Here comes the sun, Here comes the sun, and I say it's alright

We danced through the night and we held each other tight, and before too long I fell in love with her. Now, I'll never dance with another when I saw her standing there

I love you, I love you, I love you, that's all I want to say

You say you want a revolution. Well you know, we all want to change the world

All the lonely people, where do they all come from. All the lonely people, where do they all belong

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends

Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday

And when the brokenhearted people, living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be.

And anytime you feel the pain, Hey Jude, refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders

I'll give you all I got to give if you say you'll love me too. I may not have a lot to give but what I got I'll give to you. I don't care too much for money. Money can't buy me love

All you need is love, love is all you need

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

Blackbird singing in the dead of night, Take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Though I know I'll never lose affection, for people and things that went before. I know I'll often stop and think about them. In my life, I love you more

Obviously the best superpower.

There have been many lessons learned.

1. The importance of traditions.

2. How to be thankful for family and friends.

3. How to give back.

4. What the word "community" really means.

5. That it isn't about the destination, but the journey.

6. The consequences of making bad choices.

7. To trust people, until you have a reason not to.

8. To be welcoming and accepting of everyone.

9. How to be my own, individual person.

10. How to work for what I want.

11. How to be great at giving directions.

12. How to be humble.

13. To be well-rounded.

14. How to be great at conflict resolution.

15. The beauty of getting outside and exploring.

16. To be prepared for anything.

17. That you don't always have to do it alone.

18. How to be creative.

19. To brush off gossip.

I have never been so thankful to know you.

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Don't freak out

Email the professor

Attend the first class

Keep attending class

Have a backup plan

Remember that everything works out at the end

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