To the sport that made me who I am,
I was given a choice. A choice I had to make at some point. Having to choose between two sports that I truly love. A sport that I have known since I was a little girl, and another sport that I picked up only a few years ago. I always loved both; the atmosphere, the team, and the experience. I am happy with the decision I made, to continue to row over the course of my college career rather than to swim, but sometimes I wonder if I made a mistake. Maybe if I chose differently, my life would be different, if I would be happier, or perhaps I would regret that decision even more.
I would give anything to have that feeling back again. Early morning practices when the water felt like it was two degrees, laps and sets that seemed to last an eternity and the friends I made throughout the years. I miss standing behind the blocks with butterflies fluttering through my stomach. I miss having my goggles fog up every other second, the competitiveness, and the coaches that saw potential in me even when I didn't. I miss the water rushing over my skin when I dove into the pool even if it was for an event I didn't want to swim or maybe it was for the get out swim we sometimes did to get out of practice early. I miss having a drop of water fall on my skin and instantly my chlorinated perfume erupted or the damage my hair experienced daily due to the chlorine's mistreatment. If I had the chance, I would change so much about my experience. The mistakes I made, the effort I put forth, and the outcomes of my races.
Giving up a sport that you have known your entire life is earth shattering. It felt weird. This past summer was the first time I didn't swim all summer since I was eight years old. This winter, was the first time not competing for my high school team since I was in eighth grade. Having the schedule change is a big deal and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't miss it. Swimming taught me so many things, and these valuable life lessons brought me to where I am today.
As much as I miss it and as much as I wish I could go back and change some of my experiences, there's nothing I can do to move back in time. I have to accept the fact that this sport was left behind. Although it will always be a part of who I am. I have learned that I can't rewrite the past, I can't write the future, and that I can only do what I love now, and love it while it lasts because in another three years, swimming won't be the only sport I leave behind.
