Before I met you, I never truly knew what love was.

I'm not ashamed to admit that I searched for love - even a feeling remotely close to it. I romanticized abuse, I gave myself to guys who didn't deserve it, and I disregarded the pain it caused me. For a long time, I utterly hated myself. I thought of myself as impure, too f'ed up to ever be adored. I broke my own heart a little more every day. I couldn't look myself in the eyes without seeing something I desperately wanted to change. It went beyond just being insecure... it was a heart-wrenching, unexplainable feeling that left my fingertips tingling and my face hot. Hopelessness. That's the only word that I can use to describe it. Eventually, I hit rock bottom, I was hospitalized on more than one occasion, I treated the people around me poorly, I continued to let people use me, and I put my trust into people who were cruel and judgmental.

Then I met you.

You transformed my entire mentality. I see light, and it is heavenly. You are genuinely the only person I have been completely truthful with, the only person who I confided in with my past and how it makes me feel today. I have told you every mistake, every regret. Even the things that I never wanted to think about again, things I don't want anyone to remember.

I've seen disappointment in your eyes, but never judgement or anger. I've listened to you lecture me, but have never heard callous words escape your lips. You listened while I explained, you ran your fingers through my hair when you saw my eyes tear up, you kissed my temple when I couldn't talk about it anymore. Your kind and understanding heart showed me unconditional care and love... you mended me.

When I look at you, I become overwhelmed with how much I adore you. It's nothing like I've ever experienced before. So pure, so raw, so effortless.I tell you constantly that you are my whole heart, and I would never change anything from my past because I was blessed with you for a reason.

Now, I don't see myself in the ways I did before. I see my kind heart, my patience, my ability to love with everything I have. I see generosity and a strong desire to spread happiness. Everything you value in me, everything you love... that's all I see now. You taught me that people are cruel, but in the end, as long as you have a beautiful soul you will accumulate so much love.

I am so thankful to be blessed with you. You caused my metamorphosis. You transformed me into something I never want to lose.

I will love you (and myself) forever.