To the Person Who Cares Too Much About What Other People Think
Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

To the Person Who Cares Too Much About What Other People Think

How to weed out our haters and to uplift the constructive critics

To the Person Who Cares Too Much About What Other People Think

Not too long ago, I stumbled across this Ray Lewis quote that said, “One of the most dangerous things you can do is believe someone’s opinion of you”.

For some reason these words really stuck me, and not only because Ray Lewis is one of my favorite athletes of all time. I think it made me stop and consider how what other people think of me actually affects me.

Over the last few years, I have gotten much better at being able to accept others people’s negative beliefs about me without letting it alter my self-image by convincing myself that they are wrong about me, but for some reason their opinions are still able to bother me.

I would argue that as much as I love this quote, it does not quite go far enough. I would add that valuing someone’s opinion of you can be almost as dangerous as believing it. The worry and unnecessary stress that we can create for ourselves can end up wasting a lot of our energy and causing us pain.

Now I wouldn’t go so far as to say that you should value no one’s opinion of you besides your own, because then I would essentially be endorsing a lack of, or perhaps an avoidance of self-awareness -- which is really not healthy or practical life advice. In fact, it helps us grow and become better people to see ourselves through another’s eyes and to evaluate which areas of our character could use some work based on their perceptions of us.

Rather, I am saying that we should be careful and selective in whose opinion of us we allow to carry any weight or value. Certain family members, close friends, teachers, coaches, peers, or bosses could be examples of people whose opinions might be worth valuing.

I think some good questions to ask yourself when deciding whether a person’s opinion of you should matter to you are: “Does this person care about me?” “Do I admire this person?” “Do I respect this person?” “Do I aspire to be like this person in some way?” or “Does this person have my best interest at heart?” T

his list of questions can help you distinguish between a hater and someone who has the potential to help you grow.

Odds are, if you have someone in mind and you answered “no” to every single one of these questions, you may want to ask yourself why you are giving this person the power to bring you down and why what they think of you has any value to you at all. Often times we can’t just cut these people out of our lives entirely (because that would just be too easy), but we can reduce the negative effects they have on us.

By internally devaluating their opinions of us, we can take away the weight of their words, facial expressions, and actions. Their negativity only has as much power as we give it. Believe me, letting go of what other people think can be a hard thing to do, especially because it is so engrained in our culture to be “people pleasers”.

For me, this skill is definitely a work in progress, but so far, since I’ve been consciously making an effort not to care what negative people think of me, I have been happier, less stressed, and feeling more true to myself. So next time you catch yourself worrying about someone’s opinion of you, or you feel like you are walking on eggshells around someone, just stop and ask yourself a few questions and decide whether that person’s opinion is really worth your time and energy.

If you surround yourself with people whose assessments of you are worth taking to heart and let the negative people in your life become irrelevant, you will begin to feel more comfortable with yourself while at the same time allowing for growth and improvement upon your character.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

A Beginner's Wine Appreciation Course

While I most certainly do not know everything, I feel like I know more than the average 21-year-old about vino, so I wrote this beginner's wine appreciate course to help YOU navigate the wine world and drink like a pro.

White wine being poured into a glass

Keep Reading...Show less
Types of ice cream

Who doesn't love ice cream? People from all over the world enjoy the frozen dessert, but different countries have their own twists on the classic treat.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

100 Reasons to Choose Happiness

Happy Moments to Brighten Your Day!

A man with a white beard and mustache wearing a hat

As any other person on this planet, it sometimes can be hard to find the good in things. However, as I have always tried my hardest to find happiness in any and every moment and just generally always try to find the best in every situation, I have realized that your own happiness is much more important than people often think. Finding the good in any situation can help you to find happiness in some of the simplest and unexpected places.

Keep Reading...Show less

Remember The True Meaning of Christmas

“Where are you Christmas? Why can’t I find you?”

A painting of the virgin Mary, the baby Jesus, and the wise men

It’s everyone’s favorite time of year. Christmastime is a celebration, but have we forgotten what we are supposed to be celebrating? There is a reason the holiday is called Christmas. Not presentmas. Not Santamas. Not Swiftmas. Christmas.

boy standing in front of man wearing santa claus costume Photo by __ drz __ on Unsplash

What many people forget is that there is no Christmas without Christ. Not only is this a time to spend with your family and loved ones, it is a time to reflect on the blessings we have gotten from Jesus. After all, it is His birthday.

Keep Reading...Show less
Golden retriever sat on the sand with ocean in the background
Photo by Justin Aikin on Unsplash

Anyone who knows me knows how much I adore my dog. I am constantly talking about my love for her. I attribute many of my dog's amazing qualities to her breed. She is a purebred Golden Retriever, and because of this I am a self-proclaimed expert on why these are the best pets a family could have. Here are 11 reasons why Goldens are the undisputed best dog breed in the world.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments