To the Person Who Cares Too Much About What Other People Think
Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

To the Person Who Cares Too Much About What Other People Think

How to weed out our haters and to uplift the constructive critics

4151
To the Person Who Cares Too Much About What Other People Think
Pexels

Not too long ago, I stumbled across this Ray Lewis quote that said, “One of the most dangerous things you can do is believe someone’s opinion of you”.

For some reason these words really stuck me, and not only because Ray Lewis is one of my favorite athletes of all time. I think it made me stop and consider how what other people think of me actually affects me.

Over the last few years, I have gotten much better at being able to accept others people’s negative beliefs about me without letting it alter my self-image by convincing myself that they are wrong about me, but for some reason their opinions are still able to bother me.

I would argue that as much as I love this quote, it does not quite go far enough. I would add that valuing someone’s opinion of you can be almost as dangerous as believing it. The worry and unnecessary stress that we can create for ourselves can end up wasting a lot of our energy and causing us pain.

Now I wouldn’t go so far as to say that you should value no one’s opinion of you besides your own, because then I would essentially be endorsing a lack of, or perhaps an avoidance of self-awareness -- which is really not healthy or practical life advice. In fact, it helps us grow and become better people to see ourselves through another’s eyes and to evaluate which areas of our character could use some work based on their perceptions of us.

Rather, I am saying that we should be careful and selective in whose opinion of us we allow to carry any weight or value. Certain family members, close friends, teachers, coaches, peers, or bosses could be examples of people whose opinions might be worth valuing.

I think some good questions to ask yourself when deciding whether a person’s opinion of you should matter to you are: “Does this person care about me?” “Do I admire this person?” “Do I respect this person?” “Do I aspire to be like this person in some way?” or “Does this person have my best interest at heart?” T

his list of questions can help you distinguish between a hater and someone who has the potential to help you grow.

Odds are, if you have someone in mind and you answered “no” to every single one of these questions, you may want to ask yourself why you are giving this person the power to bring you down and why what they think of you has any value to you at all. Often times we can’t just cut these people out of our lives entirely (because that would just be too easy), but we can reduce the negative effects they have on us.

By internally devaluating their opinions of us, we can take away the weight of their words, facial expressions, and actions. Their negativity only has as much power as we give it. Believe me, letting go of what other people think can be a hard thing to do, especially because it is so engrained in our culture to be “people pleasers”.

For me, this skill is definitely a work in progress, but so far, since I’ve been consciously making an effort not to care what negative people think of me, I have been happier, less stressed, and feeling more true to myself. So next time you catch yourself worrying about someone’s opinion of you, or you feel like you are walking on eggshells around someone, just stop and ask yourself a few questions and decide whether that person’s opinion is really worth your time and energy.

If you surround yourself with people whose assessments of you are worth taking to heart and let the negative people in your life become irrelevant, you will begin to feel more comfortable with yourself while at the same time allowing for growth and improvement upon your character.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Featured

10 Holiday Drinks to Spice Up this December's Movie Binge

After all, isn't it the season of drinking...?

186
10 Holiday Drinks to Spice Up this December's Movie Binge
https://unsplash.com/photos/d-SeLxF_QF0

Thanksgiving has officially ended which means we are in preparation for the final holidays of the year. December is a busy month, filled with shopping and sales, wrapping gifts, planning family gathering and parties, cooking and baking, holiday movies, and of course, lots of drinking. I know that I will be spending a lot of December watching the ABC Family's 25 Days of Christmas,

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

Planning Another Christmas Party

Don't just plan another plain party but get creative to have everyone wanting to come back next year!

7826
Getty Famous

You know it's Christmas when the radio stations change to all of your favorite holiday tunes, the air is still, and stores have the best sales. With all my favorite things from Christmas happening my least favorite probably has to be when I have to go to another same old boring Christmas party that I get invited to every year. Here are some Christmas party ideas so that you won't have another sad Christmas party.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

High School Soccer is Wildly Important

For Young Players Who Want to Succeed at The Next Level

13553
High School Soccer is Wildly Important

Whose choice is it? The parent? The player? There are a number of reasons that a kid may sit out of high school soccer, and to be completely honest; It is a huge mistake. High school soccer is the final piece in the puzzle that takes a player from above average or elite, to college ready by the end of their senior year. Every year thousands of talented athletes don't play for their high schools. Why though?

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

8 Things That Should Be On Everyone's Holiday To-Do List

December is around the corner, are you ready?

10650
8 Things That Should Be On Everyone's Holiday To-Do List
Unsplash.com

As they tend to say, its the most wonderful time of the year! People have begun to compile their Christmas to-do lists in anticipation for the season of sugarplums and gingerbread.

The history of the Christmas to-do lists goes back hundreds of years, almost as old as the holiday itself, however, people tend to fall out of this habit as they get older. This is unfortunate, as the theme of Christmas tradition can add bundles of the spirit of joy to your families.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

Fall Weather Must-Haves

Put away the swim suits and your favorite high-waisted shorts!

10310

The transitional months of fall can cause some fashion headaches as you try to figure out what clothing to keep in your closet. With limited amount of college living space and the ever-unpredictable Nebraska weather, sometimes it’s difficult to know what should be taking up that precious closet space as you transition into winter. As you pack away those tanks and shorts for the chilly months ahead, get your closet ready with a few Fall must-haves. 

Keep Reading... Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments