I am the most loving, understanding, forgiving individual I know. I care about the people I love so much and refuse to give up on them regardless of the circumstances that arise.
I often times put the needs of others I love and care about before my own. Making other people happy is a key component of who I am, and as much as I try to live for myself, I catch myself sacrificing my own happiness to better that of someone else’s’. This becomes very toxic over time and it is something I struggle with.
If at any point in time I cared deeply about you whether it be a friendship or a relationship, I will do anything in my power to make sure you feel loved and reassured at all times.
I give until I can no longer give any more. I will pour so much love and energy into another person even if it drains and exhausts me to no end.
In the past I never expected people to be able to do for me what I was able to do for them. One day I came to the conclusion that no matter how much effort I put into somebody, I have to know in my heart that they will not do the same for me.
I became so comfortable with the idea of giving my all and receiving nothing in return.
I let people walk all over me, I let people push me around, I let people treat me less than I deserve. I no longer want to accept that in my life.
College has taught me to not waste time on anything or anybody. I have had enough of allowing less than I deserve into my life in any aspect.
If I do not see you as a positive person that will encourage me and uplift me, I do not need you in my life. If I am not learning any lessons from you or feel you are benefiting my growth in any way, I do not need you as a friend.
I make the conscious effort to only spend my time and energy on people that will make me a better person as a result of surrounding myself with them.
If you are the person that does not benefit my growth and mental health in any way, I will still treat you with kindness and respect but I will not go out of my way for you. Not anymore.
I was so blind and forgot about my own happiness on countless occasions and pushed everything I knew I deserved out of the picture because I was so content with doing what I could to make other people happy.
Making others feel good still brings me so much happiness, but there is a toxic and non-toxic way to do so. I can still help and encourage others and pour my time and energy into people, I just have to be aware of who is good for me and who is going to harm me.
To the person who constantly gives… I know how difficult it is. We are strong and we are able to give our all to anybody we wish, but we need to start thinking about ourselves more.
We need to remind ourselves what we actually deserve to put up with. It is not a matter of if we are capable of putting up with toxic people because we know we can. We take the challenge and run with it, but it is time to slow down and step back.
Let’s stop giving our all to everybody and become more selective so we no longer have to hurt ourselves in the process.