To the person I miss dearly,
I remember the first day I met you. I remember the feeling in my gut, the one that said we would get close to one another, become important to one another. My gut feeling was right. We experienced life together – bad days and good days.
Now you are gone. You were a part of my day-to-life. You were my go-to, the one I looked forward to seeing at the end of the day. The one I wanted to talk about anything and everything with. Now, my stomach is churning because you aren’t here. You are there and all I have are the memories we created.
You say that we will stay in touch, that we will see each other again…but I have my doubts. I have moved around a bunch, and others have moved away from me. Every time, there is a shared, “We’ll see each other again soon,” and in the moment, it’s believable. Though, as time passes, simple conversation dwindles to nothing. Meeting each other, hanging out, seems intangible. So, when you promise future meetings and continued contact, I hesitate. I want to have the hope that we will see each other again, but that hope tends to hurt, because what happens when that hope is never satisfied?
We have our own lives. Our lives have different paths. And right now, it is difficult. I have gone from seeing you all the time, to never seeing you again…at least, not for a while. You became my best friend. You have opened my eyes to so many different things and you have taught me so many lessons, lessons you don’t even know that you have taught me. And now, my best friend is not with me anymore.
Best friend, if we are to never see each other again, and if we are to lose contact, I want you to know that I love you. I will always treasure the moments that we created together, I will always remember your laugh and your smile. I want you to know that if we don’t talk for a while, and one day you need me, all you have to do is call me. I’ll be there. Without question, without hesitation. I want you to know that you have shaped me in different ways. You showed me how to be young. For that, I am forever grateful. For you, I am forever grateful.
Now, we are miles apart and a time zone separates us. We are busy with our different lives, and we still talk. For now, I will adore every conversation we have – no matter how fleeting – because I don’t know when our last conversation will be. I remember when you told me I was strong enough for this, and then I did not believe you. Still now, I have difficulty trusting those words. But, I know one thing, and that is that everything will be okay in the end.
Holding On,
Me.
