I have always been the girl to put "too much" heart into everything if you will. I put myself out there vulnerable just to be used as someone's personal punching bag time after time. My great grandmother always told me the best thing about me was that I wore my heart on my sleeve, she never told me that would also be the worst thing about me. I'm constantly asking myself, "should I really care about this?" "Am I being hypersensitive?" "Did I do something to deserve being trampled over?"
I have always heard of the term depression, trying to wrap my mind around such a concept when there is so much to be happy about. I have always myself tried to find the good in every situation, it's been my way of overcoming sadness or hurt my whole life. However, 20 years later, I get it. Depression doesn't have to be a person constantly upset, crying to themselves, or hiding in the shadows because they keep to their own. Believe it or not, it can be the person that smiles the most. The person always being optimistic and trying hard to bring happiness to others on a daily basis. Someone who devotes their life to making others lives a little brighter.
God has given me so many wonderful things in life, by no means do I have it rough. Yet in the short time I've been on this earth, the people on it have somehow finally crushed my spirits and demolished my passion. I have been used, manipulated, and taken advantage of so many times in life that I come to expect it out of everyone. Is this really what society has come to? Whatever happened to common courtesy, loyalty, and kindness?
I have always loved taking pictures, capturing life's greatest moments and letting my own creativity shine through every shot. So making a business of it was my dream come true. However, I can't tell you how many times my passion has become the one thing to hurt me most. So many times people have showed up late with no explanation, not shown up to their sessions at all, used me to start their own career of it, or wasted my time and creativity of planning for their photos just to last minute go with someone else. It's funny to think something so minute could make your own passion a nightmare. Just as any job, it takes time away from my family. I've missed birthday parties, dinners with family, and play dates with my babies just to be treated terribly. Have I had enough? Maybe so. I've always believed once you start to feel saddened more than excited about something it's time to reevaluate things. I am not sure letting people crush my passion is the decision I will make, but let me just end on this note.
Next time you decide to do something to someone that you wouldn't want to be done to yourself, step back and reevaluate your situation because you may just be the straw to break the camels back. Love others, do good things, be kind and courteous, and do not take advantage of others. We all have feelings, consider someone else's next time.
