To those that I’ve met who are no longer a part of my life – I want to say thank you. I’m being completely genuine. I’m not being sarcastic, or snide, or cynical, I truly mean it. Thank you for the time you spent being my friend, for coming into my life when you did, and for teaching me how to grow. Growing up, I always used to get discouraged when adults would say that my friends from high school most likely wouldn’t become life long friends. It was always so disheartening to hear that the people I was closest to wouldn’t always be there. It was hurtful to think that people you thought you’d be friends with forever could change and move on. I think I finally understand that it’s ok to lose friends and that growing out of friendships doesn’t necessarily make me or the friends bad people.
I’ve lost a lot of friends. And I’ve also met some pretty incredible people. I realize that my current circle of friends isn’t indestructible. I’m learning to accept that, as cliché as it may sound, people come in and out of your life for a reason. The most magnificent part of the human experience is that we encounter people that impact us, no matter how long they stay in our lives. They change you, sometimes for the good and sometimes for the bad, but those changes make you who you are. We’re all just people, with experiences. Experiences that intertwine with other people’s experiences. We are moments that cascade into memories that, when nurtured properly, transform into an outpouring of love and nostalgia.
The reality is that people are constantly changing and growing, and when you grow in a different direction than your friends, sometimes the friendship suffers. The people I’ve lost brought something to my life, whether it be laughter, inside jokes, or a shared love of something, and I will always be grateful for that. They taught me that people aren’t temporary. The amount of time they spend in your life is temporary, but not the person themselves. I believe that we collect other people. We find things we love in people, and then those things become a part of us. Losing a friend is never easy, it hurts. But the beautiful thing that is often overlooked is the fact that they never really leave, we carry the people we’ve met with us always, and we can choose to carry the good parts rather than fixate on the hurt. I can’t control what happens to me, but I can control how I choose to let it affect me. I can mourn over lost friendships and worry about an old, or even current friend’s opinion of me. I can let it consume me. Or, I can look back on the memories, try to learn something from them, and grow. Because if you don’t change, how will you know if you’re who you think you are? Or how will you become what you want to be?
