To the parent I lost too soon:
Wow, time flies by and it doesn't seem possible that you have been gone so long, let alone gone at all. So much has happened and there isn't a single day that something doesn't happen that I want to tell you about. The world is a scary place and I'm sure you knew that. But so it goes.
I want you to know that I think of you every single day, and while I'm sad that you're gone, I try not to let that drag me down. I strive to make you proud and I always wonder what you would say about all of my failures and accomplishments.
My biggest wonder is about how I might be different if you were here, if I had gotten more time with you. I wonder if I would be the person I am today if I hadn't lost you. The answer is, of course, no. The loss of my parent shaped me and while it is a terribly tragic event that I would never wish on anyone, I don't regret the strength it has given me. I have learned to survive with one parent. I have learned to survive with loss. I have learned to survive without things many children take for granted. I understand the world a lot more than many around me and even though I may not have you, I have the sense of you.
I want to apologize because I know I didn't always take you seriously. I know sometimes I was hell on the heart and I know I didn't always show you the appreciation you deserve. I will forever live with that but I know that you have forgiven me a thousand times over, though I will never get to have this conversation with you.
I would also like to thank you for making me who I am today without even knowing it. It was never ideal and I wish you were still here. Thank you for the time we did have and for loving me with all of your heart. I know I was your world and you were mine and I can never express how much that mean to me now. I know you made sacrifices for me and though I was too young to know it then, I understand and recognize it now.
Last, but most definitely not least, I want to say I love you. I truly do. You are my hero. I hope that I can grow up to be the person you were because you were absolutely amazing. No amount of time spent without you will ever fade the memories you've left in my heart nor anyone else's. Thank you for not only giving me a chance, but for giving me my best chance.
