This is to the one who doesn't understand that my depression and my past eating disorder are real things and not something that I just make up inside of my head.

Even on my worst days, when I just want to sleep and block out the world because my depression has gotten the best of me, you still tell me its all in my head. You tell me that I am overreacting, that I need to stop being a bratty princess. With every word that pours out of your mouth, a knife is driven into my soul.

You have never understood that when I get to feeling like the world is mine to bear and that I just need to try and sleep it all away, I don't need someone telling me I am being overdramatic. I don't need you dragging me out of bed to be productive for the day. Most importantly I don't need you telling me nothing is wrong with me.

I understand that this is all new territory for you and that you have never had to care and love someone who deals with mental illnesses, but its time for you to get off of your high horse and educate yourself. You need to start to understand that my depression is not just something that I make up in my head for attention. You need to understand that my eating disorder was directly linked to my depression and it was not something I wanted or chose for myself. I need you to understand that when I tell you I don't want to eat, its not because I am trying to annoy you or upset you, its because I physically don't have the strength to do it. For the time being, the voices who tell me all the negative things about me are taking control and you need to be okay with that. You need to be okay with the fact that for almost half my life I have battled with this month in month out and its not something that is going to go away. I just need you to understand, understand that I try to beat it, I try to be better than it, but it gets to the point where I can't push it down anymore, I can't be strong anymore, I have to give in, I have to let it win to find inner peace.

I need you to take a step back and step into my shoes. Step into my depression, step into the tainted reality that has become my life. Maybe then you will understand that what I feel is not because I need something from you or that I am craving attention. What I feel is because of my depression. What I feel is because of what my eating disorder took from me, what it did to the way I see the world and myself. What I feel is because I was trained to believe I am not enough. I was trained to believe that emotions are not to be expressed. I was trained that it's me against the world.

I need you to understand that this is something that I physically cannot control, and sometimes I just need someone to love me, and you don't do that.

I'm going to leave you by saying, learning to love me when I am in a depressive state, will allow you to understand me in a whole new light, and that's all I want. I just want you to love me for everything I was, am and will be. Depression or not, it will always be apart of me, and I need you to learn to love that part about me.