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To The One I Loved More

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I was 18 when I met my previous boyfriend. I fell so deeply in love with him from the moment I saw him I swore I was going to marry him, and that was big deal for me considering I didn't want to ever get married to begin with. His family became my own family and I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. But during our relationship I began to lose myself, I stopped being in love with me as a person. I gained 20 lbs. and cried almost daily. I was not the me that I wanted to be. It had nothing to do with how my ex treated me or anything like that. he was good to me. Until I could feel him getting bored of me and falling out of love with me. I could tell his interests were not me anymore. I mad mistakes and I damaged things in our relationship. I loved him so deeply that at times I didn't know how to show it. I scared myself because I loved him so much that I had no idea how to handle it. This boy this perfect human was suppose to be my husband someday. He promised me on our one year when he handed me the promise ring. Little did I know that 4 months later I would mean nothing to him anymore. He broke up with me on November 8th. left me crying on the floor of my living room alone. He showed no emotions, he was ready to be done with me whether I begged him or not. And I did, I begged him to stay. Because this boy was suppose to be my husband someday. And now he's gone. I don't want to get married anymore I don't want to have kids I can't expect either of those things when the one I loved most left me. Can I?

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