To the girl who's not "girlfriend material,"
By your definition, I'm not either. However, I've been happily dating my boyfriend for almost three years now.
We don't spend every waking moment texting each other, and I don't wait by my phone hoping he'll call. I don't expect every moment of his day - I have dreams and goals, and he does too, and we constantly work hard to achieve them. We're both bettering ourselves and figuring out who we are, and we're still able to come together and make our relationship work at the end of the day. It's truly a beautiful thing.
In that, he is my partner, my teammate, my confidant, and my best friend. I am that for him as well and I couldn't ask for anything more. In him, I found reliability, love, and honesty. He doesn’t care what I’m wearing or if I spend hours on my makeup for the day because we’re not in this for simple satisfaction, we’re in it for the long haul.
I used to be like you. I shut every boy who paid a second of attention to me out because I was afraid. I was afraid of being let down, and I was afraid of being hurt. Being vulnerable is scary! You willingly open up and give all of your love to another person and you hope that they don’t crush you into a million pieces after you do. But, you know what? It’s worth the risk. I didn’t settle and I’m not disappointed in my decision at all.
Being a girlfriend is more than texting someone 24/7 and it’s not changing who you are in order to impress them. Being a girlfriend is loving someone wholeheartedly, and watching them encourage you every step of the way, while you do the same for them. It’s not a mold that you have to fit into. It’s exactly who you already are as a person - nothing more, nothing less.
Not every relationship will be perfect and boys will probably lie to you along the way, it’s just what they do. But, do me a favor and give someone a chance to prove you wrong sometime. Let him take you to dinner. Talk about your hopes and dreams and find out what he believes in. If you have a checklist of all the things you’re looking for, you may never find them in one person. Relationships are about compromise.
As I read your article, I feel as though everything you said makes you girlfriend material, should you ever so choose to allow yourself to be. Having standards doesn’t ruin your ability to be girlfriend material and with a heart and expectations like your’s, you’ll find a wonderful person someday. Don’t be afraid to let your guard down when it happens.
