To the Girl Who is Trying to Fit In

To the Girl Who is Trying to Fit In

A letter to the young girl who feels left out
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I know that you feel awkward. I know that you feel left out. You may even think that people do not want to be around you because you are different. Those aren't the cases. Your's beautiful, strong, and talented in your own way.

Stop playing dress up with someone who has different intentions for you. You do not need to cover up your face or show off your body to get people to notice you. If someone thinks that you should, simply walk away. Yes, it is easier said than done, but that is what will make you grow.

Putting on different clothes does not make you grown up. Wearing a lot of make up doesn't make you grown up, despite how you may look. Drinking alcohol, doing drugs, and letting boys take advantage of you does not make you an adult. It will only make you dislike yourself. These things will make you do actions that you will regret. Stop trying to imitate an adult, because you will never be one that way. Here is what you should do because you feel lost, because you don't know where to go, because you don't know who you are yet.

Try anything that makes you happy, no matter what others may think. Their opinion does not matter, so let it roll off your shoulders. If you want to paint your nails crazy colors, try out a new hair style, or listen to music that isn't popular, do it! Do what makes you happy. This is how you will find your true self. Why should you do anything otherwise? Our goal of being humans that are living and interacting everyday is not to make each other like us, no matter how badly you don't want to believe it. We are humans, created to explore, engage, and discover. So for now, stop trying to flirt with that boy who hasn't ever paid you attention. Stop worrying about the girl who gave you a weird look in the hallway. They do not matter in the big picture of things. This is the time of your existence to find out what makes you thrive, what makes you stand out, what makes you amazing. The secret is that once you figure out who you are, then you will have a community beginning to materialize around you.

Once you find your happiness and inspiration, it will show around you. You will outwardly show happiness and a positive light. You will meet people, notice details, and be inspired because of yourself. You won't have to hide or try to fit in because you will eventually find your group. Everyone eventually does. It just takes time, so give it some time.

People will have their opinions about what you do. They will say that you should not do that, or that it it not lady like. People will try to make you conform to the common thought of our society. Please, do not listen to them. You will of course hear them, and I wish I could tell you that they will not hurt. I cannot tell you that though because I do not have any proof that the pain will stop. Bear in mind that they are only words and that you are always stronger than words. Soon after that, these silly, petty comments will roll off your shoulders, barely noticing them. Hold your head high and unwavering. Raise your standards and remember that you are beautiful, strong, and enough.

Do not be afraid to try new things, to enjoy all of the experiences that you can, and try to be nice to everyone you encounter. Learn to accept yourself. It might be hard, but at the end of that journey, it will be worth it. Try to remember that social media is not everything and that it is okay if you decide to detox from it. Some things are better if they are kept to yourself. Do not try to grow up faster than you are supposed to because being young is okay. Being different is okay. Do not try to fit in, just be you. Everything will fit into place, eventually.

Cover Image Credit: Jennie Spiegler

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I Drank Lemon Water For A Week And Here's What Happened

It has already changed my life.

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There are so many health crazes out there now, it's hard to tell what actually works and what doesn't; or more importantly what is healthy and what is making your body worse. I read about simply drinking lemon water and I figured that didn't sound gross or bad for me so I figured I would give it a try. I've been drinking it consistently for a week and a half and I already notice some results.

I've never been a fan of lemon in my water, I always refuse it at restaurants. You definitely have to find your sweet spot in lemon to water ratio, in what tastes good to you. I personally cut the lemon into quarters and use on quarter per day. I put the lemon quarter in the bottle and then continuously fill with water throughout the day. I still get the yummy lemon flavor all day because I do not squeeze the lemon. It took about a bottle or two to get used to the lemon flavor, and now I just crave it.

Lemon water is supposed to speed up your metabolism. Obviously, a week is not long enough to tell if this is fact or fiction but I have noticed a change in appetite. I feel like I do not get hungry as often as I did before. I saw this effect within 24-48 hours of starting the experiment. This seems opposite to a fast metabolism but we'll see.

I definitely feel more hydrated with lemon water. I drink a lot of water anyways, about 80 oz a day but for some reason with the lemon, it makes me feel better. I don't feel as sluggish, I'm not getting hot as easily, and my skin feels amazing. I am slightly skeptical though because the lemon almost makes my tongue dry requiring me to drink more water, so I have upped my intake by about 20oz. I'm unsure if the hydration is due to the extra water, the lemon, or both!

My face is clearing up and feels so much softer too, in only a week! I have not gotten a new pimple since I have started my lemon water kick, may be coincidence but I'm not going to argue with it.

I also feel skinnier as I feel like I'm not holding as much water weight. I only exercise lightly, for the most part, walking around a mile or two a day so we can eliminate exercise factor to the slender feeling.

I have a messy stomach. Everything upsets it, and even though lemons are very acidic, they have not affected me in a negative way at all. It almost seems like the lemon water is helping me digest the difficult foods that my stomach doesn't like. I'm nowhere near a doctor so don't trust my word but it seems to be working for me.

From the effects I've felt so far, it also seems like lemon water may be a great hangover cure! I haven't tried it but I don't see why it wouldn't work. I can't say a negative thing about drinking lemon water so far expect you have to buy the lemons! If you try this for yourself though just make sure you are using an enamel saving mouthwash or toothpaste since lemons aren't so great for your teeth.

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Ladies, Stop Saying Sorry

It's about time we stop apologizing for being human beings.

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Recently, I've been confronted with the overwhelming amount of times that I say "sorry" on a daily basis, often when there's nothing that I should be apologizing for. If someone expresses to me that they're sick, my initial response is "Aw man, I'm so sorry," rather than "I hope you feel better." I've begun to call this the "sorry reflex," as it sometimes so visceral that I don't even notice it happening. My sorry reflex has gotten to the point where if I accidentally bump into an inanimate object, like a chair, I immediately say "I'm sorry."

I've begun to notice times when the other women in my life do this as well. Last week, when I complained to my roommate about having lost my umbrella in the midst of an especially rainy week, she sympathized by saying "I'm sorry about that." Now, this garnered an immediate reaction from me, one of which felt most closely like guilt. I felt guilty for making a friend feel at fault for something that I had done. Very quickly, I replied, "It's not your fault." Now, I'm very sure that my roommate was consciously aware she was not the one who had lost my umbrella, but in using the word "sorry," she unintentionally admitted guilt.

This conversation got me thinking about how women are conditioned to be apologetic. While boys receive applause for being overtly confident and assertive, girls are told that timidity and inferiority best suit their character. We girls are trained that to empathize; we must first sympathize. This is to say that in identifying with the upsetting experiences of others, like losing an umbrella, we must also be responsible for the things that cause them grief. Why should anyone feel sorry that I lost my umbrella? The answer is – they shouldn't.

The word "sorry" can be said so much that it loses it genuine remorse and becomes more of an instinctual response, even when no guilt is actually felt. After telling my roommate that losing my umbrella wasn't her fault, she expressed to me that she knew that fact but regarded the comfort and ease of expressing the word "sorry" to empathize. Our conversation about my umbrella made us think about alternative phrases to saying sorry, such as "I hope things turn up for you" or "That's unfortunate." These sentences realistically convey our point – that we understand the crappy outcome and hope things get better – all without admitting guilt. It's fair to say that eliminating "sorry" from your toolbelt of responses is far more tedious and inconvenient than the resulting phrases, but it will change the way your responses are perceived by others, for the better. And that's something you don't need to apologize about, ever.

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