To The Girl Who Grew Up Without A Mother

To The Girl Who Grew Up Without A Mother

There is nothing like a mother's love.
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Growing up without a mom, whether it be due to addiction, death or just absence, is one of the hardest things a girl can go through.

Moms are known to be more gentle, understanding and emotional than most fathers. They do have that magic touch that seems to tie everything back together. There is nothing like a mother´s love.

No matter the age you lost your mom, whether physically, mentally or both, it is heart breaking. There become so many unanswered questions, to the point where you find yourself Googling all the “what if's” and “how to's” because you are too embarrassed to ask someone else.

Little girls love dressing up in pink dresses. However, when some are raised strictly by a father, they settle for overalls and a baseball cap. These dress up clothes turn into prom dresses. Prom is that time when a girl wants to be treated like a princess while having her number one by her side. Then comes the wedding day, this is a proud moment for any girl to share with her mother. The girl notices the empty spot in the church, even while no one else does.

Nobody can replace the feeling that a mother brings to her daughter. Some girls do not even know what it feels like to have a mother because she was never in the picture, or was gone too soon to remember. A daughter will always feel that void and emptiness, even when everyone tells her everything is going to be all right. When you don't have a mom, sometimes you feel as if you missed most of the important moments, or that you are not living a normal life.

Oh my, let's not even talk about the awkward body changes a girl goes through, or the things that she starts to need. It’s all just down right red face ready to happy; especially when you have to go to your father. Getting your period is the most shocking and confusing natural process to happen to any girl. Dads just love going to the store to find you the right pad or tampon… Not. Bra shopping ends up being the cheapest and least padded bras around. The bra could either end up being two sizes too big, or you could still be wearing a training bra at 16. Falling behind in the make-up and fashion department is bound to happen. Going to the barber shop rather than the salon is something that occurs probably until the age of 17, until an aunt or friend's mom takes you.

Personally, it hits me in the gut whenever I see mothers and daughters together. Moms and their daughters laughing, shopping, going on trips and going to the salon together. This makes me melancholy, then I remember all the other moms that are in my life.

Growing up, for dance recitals, my dad was the only one that was given a "dad pass." I had to go to my friends house to get my hair and make-up done for dance. I thank Lacy and her mom for being there when I couldn't put on my fake eye lashes, Ms. Lynn and Lyndsey for taking me shopping more than I can remember, Beth for being my emotional supporter who I call everyday, Kim-e for showing me how to grow into myself, Momma Tammy for greeting me in her house every weekend and crashing with Kelsie, and Veronica, for being abiding by the older sister rule and turning into a mother. My "mom" role has been broken up about 25 times, and I would not have had it any other way. So many people have been willing to take me in as their own.

To the girls who don't have their mom, it will be okay. We all have our days of sadness, but just remember, there's many moms out there to help us.

Cover Image Credit: gsocarecenter.org

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The Thank You My Dad Deserves

While our moms are always the heroes, our dads deserve some credit, too.
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Dear Dad,

You’ve gone a really long time without being thanked. I'm not talking about thanks for things like opening the Gatorade bottle I couldn't or checking my tires when my car’s maintenance light is flashing, but rather the thanks I owe you for shaping me into the person I am today.

Thank you for teaching me what I deserve and for not letting me settle for anything less.

While the whole world was telling me I wasn’t good enough, you were there to tell me I was. Whether this was with boys, a friend, or anything else, you always built my confidence to a place I couldn’t build it to on my own. You showed me what my great qualities were and helped me feel unique. But most of all, you never let me settle for anything less than what I deserved, even when I wanted to. Without you, I wouldn’t be nearly as ambitious, outgoing or strong.

Thank you for giving me someone to make proud.

It’s hard to work hard when it’s just for myself, but so easy when it’s for you. All through school, nothing made me happier than getting a good grade back because I knew I got to come home and tell you. With everything I do, you give me a purpose.

SEE ALSO: 20 Things You Say When Calling Your Dad On The Phone

Thank you for showing me what selflessness looks like.

You are the prime example of what putting your family first looks like. If me wanting something means that you can’t get what you want, you’ll always sacrifice. From wearing the same t-shirts you’ve had since I was in elementary school so I could buy the new clothes I wanted, to not going out with your friends so you could come to my shows, you never made a decision without your family at the forefront of your mind. If there is one quality you have that I look up to you for the most, it’s your ability to completely put your needs aside and focus entirely on the wants of others.

Thank you for being the voice in the back of my head that shows me wrong from right.

Even though many of your dad-isms like “always wear a seatbelt” easily get old, whenever I’m in a situation and can’t decide if what I’m doing is right or wrong, I always can hear you in the back of my head pointing me in the right direction. While I may not boost your ego often enough by telling you you’re always right, you are.

Thank you for being real with me when nobody else will.

Being your child hasn’t always been full of happiness and encouragement, but that’s what makes you such an integral part of my life. Rather than sugarcoating things and always telling me I was the perfect child, you called me out when I was wrong. But what separates you from other dads is that instead of just knocking me down, you helped me improve. You helped me figure out my faults and stood by me every step of the way as I worked to fix them.

Most of all, thank you for showing me what a great man looks like.

I know that marriage may seem very far down the road, but I just want you to know that whoever the guy I marry is, I know he’ll be right because I have an amazing guy to compare him to. I know you’re not perfect (nobody is), but you’ve raised me in a such a way that I couldn’t imagine my kids being raised any differently. Finding a guy with your heart, drive, and generosity will be tough, but I know it will be worth it.


Dad, you’re more than just my parent, but my best friend. You’re there for me like nobody else is and I couldn’t imagine being where I am now without you.

Love you forever,

Your little girl

Cover Image Credit: Caity Callan

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The People You Need In Your Life Won't Make You Beg For Love

The right one will know exactly what to do and when to do it.

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I saw a tweet recently that described every emotion I've felt over the past years. It goes something like this, "Do not teach a man, how to be your man sis. Do not ask him to show you off, do not ask him to text you, do not ask him to care about you, do not ask him to bring you random flowers, do not ask him to plan dates. The right one will know exactly what to do and when to do it."

I have experienced this myself and have heard a lot of friends go through the same thing. I really wish I would have seen this tweet a long time ago so I could have shared this with everyone, including myself. It's so important to teach young boys and girls to not beg for someone's attention. Don't beg someone to give you the time of day. Don't give into their excuses. Don't stay because you're lonely. The right guy or girl will come to sweep you off of their feet. Instead of hurting, find better. Even I have to constantly remind myself of this.

If he/she wants to buy you flowers, they will. If they wanted to go on a date, it would have been planned. If they wanted to talk to you, they would have called. If they're going to cheat, they're going to cheat. Don't wrap yourself up in the moment of your feelings being hurt. Take note of it and try to find better. No one deserves to feel like they weren't good enough for someone else's attention.

It doesn't have to apply to just relationships though. Friendships and family apply to this topic as well. Don't beg for your friends to invite you to stuff. If they're going to make plans without you, let them. The worst invite I have ever received was when people would make plans in front of me and then look at me and say "Oh you can come too if you want". Excuse me? Did I look like I was begging for an invite because I wasn't? Being invited out of pity is way worse than not being invited.

Don't beg for your parents' love. If they don't want to build a relationship, stop trying. It hurts so bad but, it's better to not have someone in your life that's toxic than to beg for that love. Someone loves you. It may not be your parent because of whatever it may be but, someone out there will be there for you.

The lesson behind this is to not beg for someone to care about you. You are worth more than that and there are so many people in this world, you just have to find who your person is. Friendships and relationships come and go, don't settle because you feel as if you're stuck. Set your standards and then strive for better. Wow yourself and let people into your life who aren't the reason you cry yourself to sleep every night.

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