To The Girl Who Grew Up Without A Mother

To The Girl Who Grew Up Without A Mother

There is nothing like a mother's love.
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Growing up without a mom, whether it be due to addiction, death or just absence, is one of the hardest things a girl can go through.

Moms are known to be more gentle, understanding and emotional than most fathers. They do have that magic touch that seems to tie everything back together. There is nothing like a mother´s love.

No matter the age you lost your mom, whether physically, mentally or both, it is heart breaking. There become so many unanswered questions, to the point where you find yourself Googling all the “what if's” and “how to's” because you are too embarrassed to ask someone else.

Little girls love dressing up in pink dresses. However, when some are raised strictly by a father, they settle for overalls and a baseball cap. These dress up clothes turn into prom dresses. Prom is that time when a girl wants to be treated like a princess while having her number one by her side. Then comes the wedding day, this is a proud moment for any girl to share with her mother. The girl notices the empty spot in the church, even while no one else does.

Nobody can replace the feeling that a mother brings to her daughter. Some girls do not even know what it feels like to have a mother because she was never in the picture, or was gone too soon to remember. A daughter will always feel that void and emptiness, even when everyone tells her everything is going to be all right. When you don't have a mom, sometimes you feel as if you missed most of the important moments, or that you are not living a normal life.

Oh my, let's not even talk about the awkward body changes a girl goes through, or the things that she starts to need. It’s all just down right red face ready to happy; especially when you have to go to your father. Getting your period is the most shocking and confusing natural process to happen to any girl. Dads just love going to the store to find you the right pad or tampon… Not. Bra shopping ends up being the cheapest and least padded bras around. The bra could either end up being two sizes too big, or you could still be wearing a training bra at 16. Falling behind in the make-up and fashion department is bound to happen. Going to the barber shop rather than the salon is something that occurs probably until the age of 17, until an aunt or friend's mom takes you.

Personally, it hits me in the gut whenever I see mothers and daughters together. Moms and their daughters laughing, shopping, going on trips and going to the salon together. This makes me melancholy, then I remember all the other moms that are in my life.

Growing up, for dance recitals, my dad was the only one that was given a "dad pass." I had to go to my friends house to get my hair and make-up done for dance. I thank Lacy and her mom for being there when I couldn't put on my fake eye lashes, Ms. Lynn and Lyndsey for taking me shopping more than I can remember, Beth for being my emotional supporter who I call everyday, Kim-e for showing me how to grow into myself, Momma Tammy for greeting me in her house every weekend and crashing with Kelsie, and Veronica, for being abiding by the older sister rule and turning into a mother. My "mom" role has been broken up about 25 times, and I would not have had it any other way. So many people have been willing to take me in as their own.

To the girls who don't have their mom, it will be okay. We all have our days of sadness, but just remember, there's many moms out there to help us.

Cover Image Credit: gsocarecenter.org

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the beautiful barefoot boy

The goal isn't to live forever, but to create something that will.

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This morning, I did the same thing I do every single morning when I wake up. Before my feet hit the floor, I say a prayer. I thank God for waking me up, blessing me with such a good life, and pray for any specific thing that is laying on my heart. Lately, I have been praying a lot for the same person many people in my community have been praying for- Matt McGregor. I have prayed for healing, comfort, strength, and many other things to happen in Matt's journey, but I also prayed that God's will be done in his life above all else. Little did I know yet that His will had been done.

I remember Matt from school. Every time I saw him, everyone around him was laughing. And I am not exaggerating. He was one of those special people who can literally make anyone and everyone laugh no matter the situation. He was one of those people that the world needs around to make life more bearable and just down right better.

Death sucks. Cancer sucks. Yes, I am glad that Matt is no longer suffering, but that does not really give me a sense of relief because I know his family and friends are suffering. I think about Matt's sisters, and cannot fathom the pain that they're feeling. I could not imagine life without my brothers, my kids not getting to grow up and hang out with their cool uncles, and telling on each other to our parents when we all come home for Christmas when we're 40. I think about his parents, who are having to do the hardest thing anyone could have to do, say goodbye to their son. I think about his friends, who's lives will never be the same every time they do something that reminds them that he's no longer here to share life with. He was too young, too full of life. The worst death are the ones that can't be explained, and this one of them.

That's the thing about life, you never know when it's going to end and that is what makes it so fragile. Someone you know passes away, and you suddenly start to contemplate whether you are living your life "good" enough. You wish you'd spent more time with the one who passed, hold on a little tighter to the ones who are still here, and make sure you remind them you love them. But to show someone you love them is much more powerful than telling them, and that is exactly how Matt lived his life. His life light was beaming all the time and he was constantly sharing that with everyone around him. That is part of why he was so special.

When someone dies, they leave their own legacy that is different from every single other person on the planet. Your legacy depends on the amount of light that you have shed on others. Looking through Facebook today, it is so obvious that his light touched so many people. Matt's death has reminded me of those that I have and will continue to lose throughout life... there is no better way to say it than death sucks. But even though death sucks, it reminds us to live our life to the fullest, and continue the legacy of those we've lost.

On a side note, I found it interesting that Matt was barefoot all the time, so I googled being barefoot in biblical times. Moses and Joshua was commanded to take off his shoes as he was standing on holy ground, and poor people did not have shoes so they went barefoot. But this is my favorite: priests in Israel went barefoot while ministering. They would take their shoes off before blessing their people. It is evident that Matt blessed so many people's lives in his short time on this Earth. Coincidence that he was known for always being barefoot? I think not.

Let your life light shine brightly like Matt's, and always live life to the fullest.

. . .

In loving memory of Matt McGregor Jr.

Then I heard a voice from heaven say, "Write this: Blessed are the dead who die in the Lord from now on." "Yes," says the Spirit, "they will rest from their labor, for their deeds will follow them." Revelation 14:13

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Mom, I'm Sorry For Never Understanding Your True Worth — Until Now

This break lasted a week and I took over most of her responsibilities. At the end of the week, I learned how much she does for the family and how much she sacrifices to make sure my dad and I are happy.

kru
kru
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My mom had to take a break from her regular duties due to some personal reasons. She could not cook, could not clean, and had to stay away from any heavy physical activity. This break lasted a week and I took over most of her responsibilities. At the end of the week, I learned how much she does for the family and how much she sacrifices to make sure my dad and I are happy.

Thank you, mom, for everything you do. I now truly understand your value.

I, like most of the kids my age, always thought my mom nagged too much when she complained about no one helping her in the house. Whenever she asked me to something, I would say I don't have time because I have to study and then I would just waste time on my laptop.

But, now that I have had a chance to be in her shoes, I feel so guilty for doing any of that.

She wakes up at 5 a.m. every morning, Monday through Friday. She gets ready and has to make breakfast for her and my dad, make their lunches to take to work, and sometimes she even makes lunch for me. She has to do all that by 6:45 because she leaves the house by then.

Since I cannot wake up at 5 in the morning, I used to prepare sandwiches the night before and still get so tired and lazy. For breakfast, I made my dad make his own and make it for my mom.

When she comes back from work at 7, she has to make dinner in less than a half hour. And, she never takes the easy way out. My mom makes a full course meal for most of the week. As soon as she comes home, she goes straight to the kitchen and starts working. After dinner, she cleans up everything and washes all the dishes.

I came home from college, with two classes on some days, and I was beyond exhausted. Then, I sat down for a bit before I even stepped into the kitchen, and then even with the little rest in between, I made very simple things, such as pasta. Also, I made my dad wash my dishes because I was tired.

I didn't even do half the things my mom does for our family and I was exhausted by the night.

This past week really helped me understand my mom and all that she does for us. I came to realize that I always took my mom for granted. I love her a lot and I appreciate her even more.

kru
kru

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