To the Girl Who Apologizes,

Whenever you’re at a party and someone says a funny joke, you laugh out loud. You quickly close your mouth and cover it with your hand, incredibly embarrassed that you let your “I’m too posh to laugh without a slightly condescending scoff” guard down. So after your face reddens and your stomach drops, you say, “Oh God, sorry.”

Whenever we go somewhere and someone says, “You dressed so nice. This was supposed to be casual.” Or when the opposite happens and we get put down for ‘underdressing’. When our boss tells us that we’re being emotional. When our friends tell us to calm down. When we’re having a lot of fun and don’t care who sees. When we trip and fall in public. When our reaction isn’t what was expected of us. When all of these things happen, a woman’s first reaction is to apologize profusely.

Don’t.

Stop.

You read that right. Stop apologizing. Stop apologizing whenever you say something on your mind without filters. Stop apologizing for gushing on and on about your favorite movie or song or passion. Don’t tell anyone sorry for overdressing to the party. Don’t apologize for telling someone that you disagree. Stop apologizing to that guy who was vulgar to you, then threw his hands up and blurts, “Geez, I was only kidding” and making you look like the ass. Don’t ever apologize to that idiot.

Amy Poehler once said, “It takes years, as a woman, to unlearn what you have been taught to be sorry for.” Well, Miss Poehler, it took me years to learn to spell my name right, but I persevered. Women can learn to not be sorry.

I want to challenge women to stop saying sorry. Learn to be unapologetic in your expressions. I want a world where a woman’s first reaction to a negative comment is, “That’s how I feel” and not “Sorry, but that’s just what I think.” DON’T APOLOGIZE FOR YOUR THOUGHTS, THEY’RE AMAZING AND VALID. I could scream that from the rooftops.

Instead, make sure that whoever you’re with, wherever you are, knows who you are. Be sure to make your thoughts known. Make sure to be your smart, witty self without being repentant. Be yourself and love yourself and don’t you dare be sorry to do the damn thing!