The most awkward relationship known to man is the one between the ex-girlfriend and the new girlfriend.

Seeing each other in public, having mutual friends, avoiding one another’s places of work… it all comes with the territory of dating in a small town. However, as much as I would love to wish you the worst, I have a few other things on my mind that are much more important.

I want you to know that he is fragile. I hope you’re ready. I hope you’re the one that can fulfill all of his dreams, especially the ones that I couldn’t. I hope you’re ready to deal with emotional trauma. I want you to be there for him like I was, but better. I want him to feel safe, at peace and at home with you. It didn’t take me long to realize the pain he was hiding and the sadness behind his eyes and I hope you have the same realization, quickly. I wish you luck when having to walk on eggshells when he has a hard day. I wish you strength when he belittles you or takes his frustrations out on you. Most of all, I hope you can handle the walls he puts up and more importantly, break them down.

I hope you can cook his favorite meal, understand his love for sugary, sour candy and treat him like he’s the only one for you. I pray that you understand and try to become part of his passions. Force him out of his comfort zone, make him try new things and give him all you can out of this beautiful life. Appreciate how hard he works, and appreciate even more the time you have off together. Encourage him to pick a path and stick with it. Find god together. Experience the vulnerability of sitting together on a Sunday- grace filling your body and feeling closer than you ever could elsewhere. Cherish the intimacy and let it be much more than a feeling.

Forgive his mistakes, even when they hurt you. Communicate with one another, even if it means taking time out of your week to ensure that you do so. Appreciate him and all he does, is and will be. Fulfill his wants of a family. Give him a beautiful baby girl, name her Gracelyn and watch his eyes light up when he holds her. Get to know his mother. Not just on a surface level, but really get to know her. She is a special person and you will learn to understand his and her relationship. Fall in love with his entire family. They are amazing people and they will compare you to me. I want you to be better. Make them laugh louder and smile bigger. Aim to make them love you like you love him.

Find hobbies together and do them as frequently as you can. Binge watch Netflix and snack for hours. Make sure there are always snacks. Explore life, the country and the world with one another. Ask him questions about where he’s been and where he wants to go. Connect with him on an intellectual level. Ask him to play the guitar for you, as frequently as possible. Never let that passion die for him. Introduce him to new foods. Understand that he is the pickiest person ever, but learns to love new things quickly.

Finally, learn to accept his past. I was a big piece of it, but I am not there any longer. Do not hold that against me. Don’t take his negative words about me as anything more than anger. What we had changed his life, and it was only one chapter. For you are the next chapter, take that with grace and try as hard as you can to be the rest of the book.

There comes a time in life where you can stop putting negative energy into hating someone for loving the person that you love. Instead, wish them well and pray to God they’re happy. I pray you’re happy, and I pray you make him as happy as he deserves to be.