To The Girl Afraid Of Letting Go,

Stop clinging to a toxic relationship that's been over for months. Letting go is hard, and it doesn't matter what you try. But the hardest part about it is knowing you have no reason to still be holding on. Sometimes relationships are just toxic, and no mater how many things you find in that relationship that are worth loving, the good never outweighs the bad. I heard someone say once "any guy who makes you cry isn't worth your tears," and that's exactly what one has to keep in mind in a situation such as this. Holding on to that type of person is like holding your hand in a bowl of battery acid: it will melt pieces of you away until what once was flawless is damaged beyond repair. That acid is your love, and that hand is your heart.

I was raised by a pretty amazing set of parents who love each other above all else. Through any argument or any unforeseen circumstance, their love remains. Growing up I always assumed that you were supposed to treat any relationship in that way. Through my experiences I have realized that not everyone has the same strive to persevere. Many people think that when one small problem arises it's time to call a relationship quits. And while it sucks to realize that some people just don't care enough to put in effort, it's important to remind ourselves that the people who require the most effort sometimes don't deserve it.

I think the hardest part about loving someone isn't accepting their flaws, but trusting them to accept yours. I swear to you, any man or woman who nitpicks your every flaw doesn't care about you enough to accept you as you are and therefore isn't worth your time. My mom once said to me "you should be with someone who makes you want to be a better person." You shouldn't be with someone who tries to change you, you should be with someone who induces changes in you, for the better, without either of you realizing it. You can't put up with someone who constantly puts you down for who you are as a person.

And the worst thing you can do to your heart is chase after someone who doesn't want to stay. You'll make yourself sick, physically and emotionally, mourning the loss of someone who still lives. Picture yourself on the beach, on that strip of hard-packed sand just at the edge of the water. Your dream man or woman is waiting for you, with a picnic set up on a blanket in the fluffy sand, but you can't see them. You're too focused on the water behind you, carrying fragments of your broken toxic relationship. You have to leave the water to move on with your life and go where you're meant to be. This is not water for swimming anymore, and that's not just your old relationship sinking down into the waves. It's a pack of sharks. And why would you willingly wade into shark-infested water? That's what you're doing by holding onto the broken fragments of the person who never deserved you in the first place: courting an inevitable pain.

Walk away from the water. Walk away from what you know will only hurt you. Stretch out in the sand, because you deserve to lounge on a beach towel, the sun browning your skin, laughing with your soulmate. But you have to take the steps to get there.

Realize that you are worth far more than whatever that ex-bag-of-crap said. You have the potential to be whatever you want to be. And someday you will find someone who loves every piece of you just the way you are. So, to the girl who is so afraid of letting go, face your fears and turn your back. You will be so glad you did.

Sincerely,

Yourself.