Old friends,

I think it's safe to say that I'm still pretty confused, and a part of me is also left in anger and hurt - but that's all caused from not receiving any closure. Call me a really sensitive person {and hey, I am} but I don't like going on in life without knowing why something ended up the way that it did. And with us and our friendship, everything just came to a sudden halt. And oddly enough I realized a weird trend - this all happens with the people I seem to have the strongest bond with. And the other unfortunate part, is that they are so short lived. So how come you just stopped talking to me out of the blue?

I mean, things were going just great. We were open with each other, enjoyed each others company, already had inside jokes, would talk non stop about the most interesting things, and just some of the everyday things that best friends would talk about - traveling, school, falling in love, guys, old relationships, how we thought one another was gorgeous even though we had low self esteem. We built each other up and supported one another. We were there for each other in the rough times, and would be there to give the best advice that we knew, while the other was crying on the phone after having an anxiety attack. And after that, we would be extremely grateful to have such an incredible friend around, go back to being lame and laughing at each others stupid jokes.

So why did you just stop talking to me?
Did you not have time for me anymore?
Was I cramping your style?
I'm so confused.

I go back and try to analyze things, to see if I messed up in any part of our friendship. But even then, real friends don't just give up on friends for making silly mistakes. I reflected on the friendship and tried to find any parts where I was a bad friend, if I was dishonest or not authentic - but in reality, I just couldn't find any. I can safely say that I was a good friend, and that leaves me in more confusion as to why you decided to ghost me - why you just stopped talking to me completely after we shared so much with each other. It doesn't make any sense. There was no arguments, and even if there was some weirdness, we were pretty open with each other about them. But then bam. It's as if you fell off the face of the earth and I was no longer important to you. You called me your best friend, and now I don't feel like that anymore.

So strange, isn't it?

I'm not too much in the dark. I have my suspicions and ideas of why you just dropped me out of the blue after we became so incredibly close. It's a shame, and I'm disappointed - but in the end, you can't change much especially after it's all been done with. I can't force you to come back and be my friend, to hang out with me, to get a cup of coffee and gush over those cute guys and how we want to travel the world, or walking around talking about the weirdest things that best friends end up talking about because they can. Because they're so close with each other. I can't force it. Even though I'm still confused as to why you don't talk to me anymore, I'm beginning to accept it. In the beginning, I took it so personally and I automatically assumed that there was something wrong with me. But the thing is, that's not always the case, and sometimes it's just the other person and what is going on in their life.

I hope you live a good life, and I'm sorry we're not friends anymore. I'm sorry we were so tight and you decided to stop talking to me for no reason. Even though I have started to come to terms with it, I can't help but wonder why you truly ghosted me in the first place. I guess all I can really say is this: I hope you don't make it a habit, especially to those who take time to be there for you, and is a dedicated friend who is willing to be there for you unconditionally; through thick and thin. I was that for you, and it feels like I was just a joke.


Julia