I honestly don't know how to write this letter, because part of me still doesn't really understand how things led up to our friendship no longer being a thing. Is it really completely over? Or did we just both forget to reach out to one another every once in a while? It's hard to really think about how close of friends we used to be, to now being strangers.
Sometimes friendships, no matter how strong they are, fall apart. I mean, you hear it happening a lot. It happens in movies, books, TV shows, songs and in real life. It's something that you always just put together with those types of things...but you never really think that it could happen.
I see traces of our friendship on my Timehop every day. Paragraph-long Facebook statues and wall posts. Silly over-edited pictures we once thought were the cutest and eventually made our Facebook profile pictures. Memories from our friendship linger through social media and they bring back all of those good times. But it also brings a certain kind of sadness. The kind where you just get stuck thinking about the things that happened years in the past. And you're left wondering whether or not it was your fault that the friendship ended.
Growing up, whenever I'd lose a friend in elementary school or junior high, my mom would always tell me that sometimes friendships aren't meant to last forever. This is the same mom who also asks about how you're doing, if we still talk and asks about what you're doing nowadays. And it's awkward for me, because I can't answer her questions. Are you going to school? Are you going after your dreams? Did you ever tell that boy you liked him? Do you still like to sing Taylor Swift at the top of your lungs?
I don't know why things happened the way they did. I don't know if that's just how the world works, if there were events that kind of led up to our friendship ending or if maybe we had just outgrown each other and decided that we didn't want to be friends anymore. I just don't know. But what I do know is that I miss our friendship. I miss the laughs, the inside jokes, the nicknames, the sleepovers, the talks about what boy we liked and the great times that we had as best friends. I still have every note we passed in class, every letter we wrote and every gift given from those birthdays and holidays over the years we were friends.
It's crazy to me because years ago, we'd be talking and texting at two in the morning about anything and everything. And now there's no text messages being exchanged and no calls going through; I only see your life updates through posts on Facebook. It sucks because we used to be such good friends, but I guess life has a crazy way of doing things. I'm happy it brought us together as friends, even if it was for that short amount of time.
If you ever read this, I'd just like to say thank you for being the great friend that you were and helping me make all of those priceless memories. I hope you're doing well and that you get everything you've ever wanted. And maybe down the road, whether it be days, months or years from now, we'll be able to rekindle our friendship. But if not, I still wish the very best for you, because at one point, you were my right hand gal and my go-to and I wouldn't wish any less.
