There are no words in the english language that can console a broken heart when dealing with the loss of a loved one. We can hold each other, be there are the greatest support system, but the unbearable truth is the only tool we have is time; something no one has the patience for.
To the friend we all knew and loved, it would be an understatement to say you will be missed. You were someone many of us, myself included, could count on to be that friend that actually does answer in the middle of the night. You were that person who would not hang up or log off until there was visible proof that the upset person on the other end was better than they were before. There are more times than I can count that this exact scenario was my reality with you- and although I will never be able to thank you in person again, I truly am grateful.
We all are, in fact. You touched upon so many souls because the soul you possessed was so kind and gentle that you just helped everyone you encountered. I know this from physical experience seeing it with my own eyes and by the exchange of words on social media when news of your passing was released. You were so loved and you will always be loved. You might not exist on this plane anymore but that doesn't take away from everything you did for us.
Your singing aided so many hearts whether this was at an open mic or a personal song to a friend. For me, I will never listen to She Will Be Loved again without a tear or two falling down my face. For others it was a plethora of melodies and I know the next time they hear it, they will not only hear your voice alongside the artist but they will remember you. Your memory will forever live on not only in our hearts but in music as well and that's phenomenal.
I would lie if I said writing this wasn't breaking my heart. It's one thing to sit on the subway and listen to sad music from the 90s. It's another to actually try and pull together words into an article about how amazing and special you truly were. On more than one occasion you actually saved my life. I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you. I always did my best to thank you but I'll always look up and say it so you keep hearing it. Whatever other worldly concept you believe in, I'm sure we can all agree we can grasp the fact that you are at peace.
Many of us wish we could have spoken to you more often or settled the drift that had formed between one another. We blame ourselves for not saying what we could have or should have said. We are focusing on the past which cannot be changed no matter how heavy our hearts are and how many tears we shed. We knew you and that is what truly matters. We had the privilege of being your friend and getting to know you and exchanging memories. That is what we need to hang on to.
Because that's what you would have wanted. It's human nature to mourn, we all want closure. We're in shock, some of us still refuse to accept that you're gone. We have to sit back and smile that we knew someone who was so generous and thoughtful and selfless. I know it seems ironic and counterproductive to have any emotion other than misery at a time like this, but it does help to remember the good times; the positive memories.
This post was written in memory of Jack Shaffer. May angels lead you in.
