I Grew Up Not Knowing Half of My Family
Start writing a post
Relationships

I Grew Up Not Knowing Half of My Family

I know who you are, do you know who I am?

250
https://pixabay.com/photos/baby-feet-father-mother-2717347/
Pixabay

Before I was born, my dad was disowned by his mother as an adult. Because of this, I grew up only knowing my mom's side of the family. While all of my other friends and peers discussed which set of grandparents they were going to see on Thanksgiving or how many Christmases they had to attend, I only ever had one of each.

When I was in high school, I remember doing a family tree in Spanish class. I remember I could write down every single person on my mom's side without hesitation, but when I got to my dad's side, I just put a question mark because I had no idea who was in his side of the family. I remember being curious all day that day and coming home from school finally asking questions about my unknown family members. My parents explained what happened to our family: years before I was born, my dad wouldn't do something for my grandmother, so she essentially disowned him and even though I knew in my heart that it wasn't my fault (I mean I didn't even exist yet, how could it be my fault?), I subconsciously blamed myself for years for my broken family. I found myself going above and beyond trying to get their attention, looking high and low for years wanting them to get to know me. I realized much later on through therapy that it was never my fault, but it was hard not to blame myself because I felt so abandoned.

It was all unsuccessful.

I never got to know the ones who disowned me before I was born. I found their homes and tried ringing doorbells with no answer for several years. I sent letters, emails, and Facebook messages from high school through college, until my sophomore year of college. I found out during the spring semester of my sophomore year of college that my grandmother on my dad's side had died, leaving this blank hole in me that I was afraid would never be filled.

I was wrong, it made me stronger and opened up relationships between me and new family members from my dad's side that I had only dreamed of meeting one day. Most of all, it made realize how grateful I am for the family members I do know and have always been in my life.

When I started searching for my dad's family, I put so much value on those relatives that I didn't know instead of valuing the ones who have been by me since birth, like the grandparents I have who raised not just my mom but me too, not the grandmother who didn't want to even open a door for me. I learned through my journey how incredibly thankful I am for such loving family members who have stuck with me through thick and thin rather than just giving up on me when times get tough. Most of all, I am thankful for the support my family has given me throughout this journey.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Remembering the Memorial in Memorial Union

Sometimes it's hard to remember that Memorial Union at the University of Missouri is actually a memorial, not just a place to take a nap on a couch and get Starbucks.

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

Soccer, Spain and Racism

The whirlwind events of last week reflects the sad state of sports in Europe.

850
Soccer, Spain and Racism

When we think of events that have transpired in the US over the last few years, a lot of it ends up in spotlighting the division in the country. However, things across the pond seem to be no better - at least when it comes to sports. Last week, Real Madrid - arguably the richest sports franchise in the world, had one of their Brazilian strikers subject to vicious racist attacks in Valencia. The player, Vini Jr posted this example video in his Insta account:

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

The ultimate itinerary for travel in South Africa

6 days travel for under $1200

5749
brown leopard on top of grey rock

With its stunning natural beauty, diverse culture, and exciting cities, South Africa is a must-visit destination for any traveller. Great News… it's more affordable than you might think. With the current USD to Rand exchange rate, it's possible for 2 people to travel around this beautiful country for under $1200. But to do so, you'll need some insider knowledge and tips from local students and travel enthusiasts. In this blog, we'll share some of the best hacks to help you explore South Africa on a shoestring budget. From wildlife spotting to city adventures, we've got you covered. So grab your backpack and let's get started!

Safety

Exploring South Africa will be an adventure, but let's not ignore the fact that you’ll be a tourist and some areas are not considered safe. Don’t worry, I’ve only included the tourist-friendly spots.

Keep Reading...Show less
A Thank You Letter To My Dance Teachers

Here's to the women that encouraged, disciplined, and loved on me! If it wasn't for you all coaching me through out dance and throughout my life, I think I would probably be on the crazy train to what the good-golly-gee-wiz am I doing with my life?

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments