To the father who decided I wasn't worth it:
When I was younger I thought you were the best dad there was. I thought you were better than my mom. I looked up to you. When you guys got divorced you told my siblings and I horrible things about her, she was a cheater, she did drugs, she didn’t love us. None of which were true. I dreamed of walking down the aisle with you by my side but in light of recent years, I know that won’t be the reality. You were supposed to show me how I was supposed to be treated. How to be strong. How to be a woman who doesn’t take any shit. I figured it out. You did teach me not to rely on anyone. Not even you. You still left. You eventually got remarried and within a year of your marriage, I faded into the background. You had a new baby a couple of months ago, he’s as cute as they come. Just because you have a new child and a stepdaughter doesn’t mean I don’t matter. I do. But you showed me that I don’t matter, not to you anyways.
I struggled my senior year and you weren’t around to help. You moved halfway across the states to start a new life with your new family. You took me on an amazing graduation trip but you’ve always tried to buy my love. I struggled to get into the college of my dreams, it was expensive as hell. But I did it, without you. What you said to me as a junior in high school made me determined to go no matter what. I would never leave that small town I was from and I would be stuck there, like my mom. Well look at me now, I’m a freshmen in college and I did it without your help. I’m struggling in college and sometimes I get really down because of you but I’ll make it. I have other people to rely on. People that haven’t left, no matter what’s going on.
My stepdad stepped up to the plate and took the role of "dad" because for whatever reason you decided I was the child you no longer wanted or cared for. You’ll always be considered my father but my stepdad has done more and been around more for me in the last 5 years than you have, he's someone who will walk me down the aisle. Someone who isn’t biologically my dad but loves me no matter what. Someone who has showed me not to take any shit. Someone who has showed me they love me as their own and will stand up for me when I’ve lost my voice. Someone who stuck around when you didn’t.
We haven’t talked in weeks and it hurts like hell but I can’t have your negativity in my life any longer. I won’t hate you one day and I’ll eventually stop blaming myself for why we don’t talk but until then I’ll still keep doing big things and reaching my goals, without you. I’ll grow into the strong woman God intended me to be. I’ll always question why I was never good enough to be loved how my siblings are but one day I’m going to wake up and realize I made it without you and I won’t have the desire to reach out to you. I’ll forgive you, one day.
From the daughter who knows that she is enough.
