A few months ago I went to a wedding for a friend who is the same age as me. Of course, I was flooded with the comments like, "you are next, aren't you?" or "when do you plan on getting married?" While these are normal comments made at weddings, they really hit me tonight.
I am 21 years old. I have been dating my boyfriend for four years and we have no intentions of getting married soon. No, this is not because we do not love each other. It is because we both feel like it is not the right time. AND THAT'S OK.
Our society centers on the pattern that you go to college, meet your future husband, and a year later get married. While that sounds like a perfect plan and may work for some people, I feel like it shouldn't be rushed.
As we left the wedding my best friend and I were talking about how a marriage is such a big deal. You are giving up your last name, which has been your identity for your whole life. You are actually changing who you are. That is a huge deal. You will now be joined forever, hopefully, to a man to whom you just gave your last name up for.
This is why it is OK to date forever.
Finding someone who you love and care for enough to spend your life with is a big deal. I do not take marriage vows lightly, although it seems like they have no meaning a lot of the time. I want to make sure that when I say "I do" I mean it.
So, it is OK for people to ask if you're next and you say no. They may make rude comments, or look at you funny, but you know deep down that it is okay.
Love is not defined by a ring. It is defined in the way you feel when you look into their eyes and you see your future. It is defined by the butterflies you get three years later. It is defined by the forgiveness you are shown. It is defined by so much more than words and diamonds.
Love is worth the wait.
