As an athlete, I have been under the direction of many coaches throughout my life. Some of which have inspired and pushed me to become not only a better athlete, but a better person. I have been blessed with some amazing coaches in my life that have made all the difference in the person I am today. They pushed me to be the best person that I could become, they taught me tough life lessons, and they were always around when I need them. I could spend my whole life thanking them, but this article is not for them.

This is for the coaches who gave up on me. The coaches who failed to see my potential. The coaches who didn’t care enough to get to know me. I’m not writing this because I’m angry; though some people might be. It can be hard to let go. I spent a lot of time trying to prove to you that I was good enough. I once thought that if I achieved greatness in a sport, became a champion in spite of your disbelief, that it would fix the anger or it would undo the wrongs of the past. But I stand here today with a long list of athletic accomplishments and can say that no championship can ever change the past. No grand slam in the bottom of the ninth can prove anything to some one who isn’t watching. I spent years thinking about what you must have thought when you read my name in the paper or how you felt when I signed to play in college when you told me I should have quit everyday, but one day it occurred to me that the only reason you have any power is because I let you. I thought that if I ever quit sports you would somehow win this ongoing war I didn’t know I was even fighting. So I’m writing this to tell you that I forgive you.

I forgive you for all the pain and heartache. Maybe you really didn’t notice how your actions affected me, how your words caused a darkening in my spirit, or how the light in my eyes wasn’t shining as bright as the day before. Or maybe you did. Maybe you thought it would make me tough or maybe worst of all you didn’t care. Either way, I am choosing to forgive you and hoping that letting go of all the darkness will bring back the magic sports once held for me. Sports is supposed to bring people together and let us all believe in magic again. Have faith that anything is possible if you work hard, and even though you took that away from me all those years ago, I forgive you. I overheard a young child at the park the other day, he spoke about basketball with such a passion it made me sad. I once had that, but somewhere between then and now, I lost it.

Last season I would go to practice with a heavy heart and it was miserable. I realized that the greatest thing about life is that it is under your own control, so I vowed to never let anyone make me feel they way I have felt in the past. I am never going to give someone the power to destroy my happiness, again. I normally write about the Bachelorette or how hot Zac Efron is, but today I felt the need to share the little wisdom I have found. It took me years to see that the people who gave up on me don’t deserve to have a place in my life anymore. Today I also went outside and played a little basketball for the first time in six years, and I had fun. I was lost as an athlete and thought that I could blame others, but really I let them take the fun out sports. I am also choosing to forgive myself for being angry for so long and for wasting time feeling sorry for myself.

I’m not sure if this article will help anyone, but it helped me. If I have learned anything in my short life, it is that you have to do what makes you happy. It isn’t always what is easy, but in the end you will only regret the time you wasted feeling miserable, and that is no one’s fault but your own. Feeling lost is sometimes the only way to find yourself.