If you’re one of the three boys who have broken my heart, this is dedicated to you.

If you’re someone currently struggling with mending a broken heart, this is dedicated to you, as well.

(Disclaimer: The two most recent boys who broke my heart are absolutely wonderful people, and I have nothing but good things to say about them. We just didn’t work in a romantic relationship, but I still hold immense respect for them.)

It makes me cringe to think back on it: the crying, the ice cream (yes, cliché, but ice cream really does fill in the cracks of a broken heart), the Ed Sheeran playing on repeat, and the ache.

I really do understand why they call it heartbreak; it’s a tangible, physical dull ache in your chest that you fear will never go away. Well, I have good and bad news for you. It does hurt for a while, and there’s not much you can do but wait and know how loved you are. But then the pain passes like all things do.

Sitting here right now, in a happy, healthy new-ish relationship, I’ve had some reflections on the boys who hurt me in the past, and how grateful I am that they did. This is my thank you to them.

Thank you for making me feel like I wasn’t good enough, because it forced me to learn on my own that I am MORE than good enough. I emerged from those ashes like a freaking PHOENIX I tell you.

Thank you for showing me that I can be completely happy single, and that I don’t need to be in a relationship to feel complete. Sure, being in a (healthy) relationship is awesome, but it’s a supplement to my life, not a requirement.

Thank you for teaching me what I want and don’t want in a relationship. As much respect as I hold for all of the boys I’ve crushed on in the past, things didn’t work out for a reason. Just because two people don’t work in a romantic relationship, doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with either of them. It just means they’re not compatible, and that’s okay.

Thank you for forcing me to reflect on what matters most in my life. Each time I’ve had my heart broken, I’ve been forced to reflect on what truly matters to me in my life: my family and friends. These are the people who have been constants in my life no matter what direction my love life takes.

Thank you for helping me to find outlets and distractions for my pain. After my most recent breakup, I turned to art and literature to distract myself from the heartache. Even though I don’t feel that type of pain any longer, whenever I’m having a bad day or dealing with some other kind of issue I know what to do to clear my head.

Thank you for showing me that it is not worth changing who you are to make a guy like you. Sometimes he’s just not into you, and that’s okay. Besides, if he doesn’t like you as you are, he’s not worth your time.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from getting my heart broken, it’s that each time a boy hurts you and you feel like you’ll never find anyone you like as much as him (let alone even more), a new boy, one that's better for you than the last in every way, will come along and completely change your mind.

So chins up, ladies and gentlemen. You’ll be just fine.