Growing up I had always thought of myself as someone who never stayed in one place for too long. I had always ran and it wasn't until recently that I realized I run in order to avoid the inevitability of the people around me leaving me. This way, I wouldn’t feel the pain of the impact that hit me when someone left, I had control. However, deep down in my bones I could feel the absence of people. Boys, who told me pretty little white lies and then woke up one day and decided they didn’t want me anymore. It began to be a pattern and each one took parts of me when they left. I did not blame them of course there were millions of reasons as to why they would want to leave. But, despite those millions of reasons, you had another million reasons more as to why you wanted to stay.
To the boy who has never let me go, you have saved me. When another one decides to leave me and I am convinced there is a curse placed on me or I think there is something wrong with me you are there to comfort me and remind me it's all in my head and that you are right here. You never stop reminding me that I deserve so much more than what I am getting. When I am having anxiety and am shaking uncontrollably over something that is so insignificant you are there to tell me it will be okay. And you have more faith in me and my talent than anyone I know, including myself. I don’t wake up in the morning with the feeling that you might be gone because I know you will never run. You are my best friend and quite possibly be the man I spend the rest of my life with and I am more than okay with that. However, we are in such different places of our lives and distance continues to keep us apart.
But please know that I cannot wait until we are in the right place at the right time. I cannot wait to travel and do spontaneous things with you. When I am having anxiety or I am feeling depressed I know that I can just look over at you and feel calm because things seem a lot less difficult when you are looking at your whole world. We can annoy those around us with our endless conversations about politics and current events. I cannot wait to better ourselves while also bettering the world. And if things do not work out the way we have planned, you must know I would never forget you even if I tried. You are such a huge part of me that I will not let go. I will always look back at us and remember that you were the one who never let me go.
