Dear Sargent Douchebag,

Admittedly, that is probably not the best way to start this (or any) letter, but you've got to admit: It got your attention.

Anyway, how are you? It's been four years since we called it quits. Can you believe that? It seems like only yesterday we were Skyping all night, making plans to see each other, drinking and dancing together and calling each other 'soul mates.' It's hard to believe that we even did any of that stuff now. To think there was a time in both of our lives where we were infatuated with each other, where we consumed each other's lives and we were considered partners in crime. It's so weird, right?! It's weird because now we're strangers; well...as much as you can be seeing as we still both follow each other on social media. And even though it's been four years since we last spoke, I still feel like I haven't said my peace...and it's about time I did...so listen up.

First: Fuck you. That's right, I said it. That's not a misprint or an auto correct...that is a deliberate command. The subject, being 'you' and the verb, being 'fuck.' Or perhaps the proper grammar would be go fuck yourself? Either way...my point can hardly be misinterpreted. I remained the quintessential picture of perfection while we were together, I bit my tongue when you pissed me off and brushed every annoying thing you did off my shoulder, but no more. You destroyed my feelings, so why should I continue to care about yours.

I still don't think you understand how much of myself I gave to you. At the time, it seemed like the appropriate thing to do; we were dating, we talked about the future, I thought it was the next LOGICAL step. No one ever told me you aren't supposed to give all of yourself to someone, no one ever told me that guys like to take advantage of girls like me. I was dumb. I never got attention from guys in high school or even my first couple years of college...and nothing prepared me for the havoc you were about to wreak on my life.

In a way, I feel like congratulating you. It's almost impressive the amount of bullshit you brought into my life. Seriously. Not to quote Drake or anything, but it literally went from 0 to 100 real quick. And I dealt with it like a champ...because I thought that's what you did. I thought it was all a normal part of a relationship. I mean listen, I understand that you're supposed to be on your best behavior when you start a relationship, but you deserve a fucking Oscar or some shit because I've never seen someone commit to a role the way you did.

You had me fooled...you had me fooled so well that I told you I loved you. Even when I didn't. I didn't love you. I'm sorry, I just need to clear that up. I said "I love you" because I felt you pulling away, and you had me so dependent on you, that I panicked and said something stupid...thinking...I don't know...maybe you'd say it back and everything would be fine. Well, I was wrong but now I can finally say it. I DIDN'T LOVE YOU. You don't have that control over me. Sure, you were the first person I said it out loud to...but I never loved you. There is no special place in my heart for you, I don't look fondly back at old times and I certainly do not miss you.

Now I'm about to say something that's so important, it deserves it's own line and all caps. I can not stress this next line enough and if you take anything away from this letter, I hope it's this:

MY WORLD DID NOT END JUST BECAUSE YOU LEFT.

Let me try and phrase that in a couple different ways so you can't misconstrue what I'm trying to say here.

Just because you walked out on me, and you abandoned me, doesn't mean my life stopped. If anything you walking out on me and you abandoning me made my life stop sucking. Basically, what I'm trying to say here is that I'm still here. I'm still standing. Through all the bullshit and fuckery you put me through...I survived. And it made me stronger.

So now, I have to say 'thank you. Thank you for giving me my lowest of lows, my rock bottom. Because through hitting rock bottom and the heart ache and the pain and suffering I learned how strong I truly am. I'll admit that when we first broke up, I didn't feel strong. When I found out you had cheated on me and took advantage of my trust, I felt everything but strong. But I only had one way to go, and that was up...and up I went. It took a couple years of soul searching to rebuild myself up from the rubble you left in your wake, but I fucking did it.

I'm currently in an amazing relationship with an amazing man...I'm sure you see our Facebook posts together and just roll your eyes but we are still going strong after two years. You see, I thought our relationship was a great one, but that was until I was actually in a great relationship. So thank you for shoving me to the side, allowing the real man of my dreams to step in. If it wasn't for your cheating, lies and overall destruction, my real soul mate and I may have never met.

I really do wish you the best, though. You've given me happiness through your absence, and you deserve nothing less of what you gave me. Truly.

Xoxo,

Me