I gave them to you time after time. Waiting, hoping that this time would be different. You came back each time and said that this time will be different and that you would change, and every-time I was foolish enough to believe it. You told me you were sorry and even asked what you could do to gain my trust back. I said it was all up to you. I gave you all these chances probably because I just wasn't ready to let you go. Because how can you let someone go who you feel as if you're perfect together? How can you let someone go who makes you so happy?

There was always this thought in the back of my mind that giving you multiple chances was a big mistake and that sooner or later something bad would happen and I would be heartbroken all over again. You put everything you have into a relationship, just to have your heart broken in return. How is that fair? How many chances did I give you? Too many. How many false promises did you make that I stupidly believed? How many times did you make me cry? How many times did you make me feel like I was competing for your attention? How many times did you make me feel as if every word you said was a lie? Again, too many. Why did someone who I treated so good put me through so much torture? So many questions I'll never know the answer to..

questions like these have caused me to have so much insecurities I can't even explain. It makes me ask myself so many questions like what did I do wrong? What was wrong with me? Why wasn't I good enough? I was amazing to you. There was nothing I wouldn't have done for you and you knew that. So if that was the case, then what was the problem?? What made you think it was okay to lie to me numerous times after I gave you so many chances to tell me the truth? What made you think it was okay to pursue a relationship with me while you were still with someone else?

After tons of tears, anger, frustration and time I realize that these questions are truly unhealthy and benefit no one. Looking back, I realize that the entire time we were together you treated me like I meant nothing to you. You were constantly hurting me, making me cry, and making me have so many trust issues.

The ending between us was not my fault; it was yours. You were the one who never tried. You were the one who screwed up so many times, knowing I would forgive you and give you another chance. And each time you did, part of me was always waiting to hear from you. While I still think of you, I finally understand that I deserve better. I deserve someone who will care, value, and respect me. Someone who wouldn't dream of hurting me. I deserve happiness, laughter, loyalty, friendship, affection, passion, and a true partner; I did not have that with you. It still hurts me though, I feel so stupid. I guess this was all just a joke to you.. to hurt me. What joy do you get out of that? What is the point? What a big waste of time. I guess you just wanted someone to help you gain confidence and energy or to make you feel good about yourself from my affection and loyalty. Who would've thought that those sweet and loving words would crush you in a lot of different ways?